Primogeniture
by Nyxelestia
Summary: Merlin's happy to dedicate his life and soul to Arthur in Camelot, even though he knows the dragon is wrong, and Arthur will never be king. How can he be, when he is the second son, and his brother is the heir to the throne? Arthur/Merlin Slash
1. Heir and a Spare

Written for this prompt on Kink Me Merlin on LiveJournal:

_Arthur/Merlin, Arthur/Others, AU where Arthur has an older brother who is crown prince instead of him._

_Uther considers Arthur fairly useless compared to his brother and thinks the only thing he has going for him is his looks. When people start to express interest in the boy, Uther decides to put him to some use by pimping him out to nobles and foreign kings to benefit the kingdom. Merlin is his servant and hates that Uther treats his own son like a whore to be given to whoever requests him. Arthur is desperate for Uther's love so does anything Uther tells him to no matter how humiliating._

I have a few chapters up on LJ, so I thought I'd start posting it here. :)

* * *

**_Warnings/Content:_ violence, non-con, dub-con,** (may feature other triggering material in later chapters, I don't know yet)

* * *

**Primogeniture:**

1.) Latin for "first born".

2.) The law of the first born: right of inheritance belongs to the eldest son.

* * *

King Uther eyed the sorceress Nimueh warily.

"And what would be the price for a second son?"

"What are you willing to pay for the security of your kingdom?" she asked. "That may very well be what the Old Religion asks of you. Your wife was meant to give one life, and one life only - the Prince Madog."

Uther sighed. "We need an heir...and we _want_ a son."

Nimueh smiled. "I understand."

* * *

When Prince Arthur was born and Queen Ygraine was dead, and Prince Madog sobbed in a corner for the death of his mother, ripped away after only a few years, King Uther was convinced that no, she didn't.

Within days, the pyres of magic burned through the night. He held his sons close. Prince Arthur slept soundly against the firm chest of his father. Prince Madog studied the baby, the brother.

"Why did he have to come?" he asked of his father. "He took mother away!"

"It is the fault of magic, Madog," Uther reassured. "Not him. He is your younger brother - he is yours to protect."

Madog nodded solemnly. If he couldn't save his mother, his brother would do.

* * *

When Arthur was twelve and beat his sixteen-year-old brother to the ground with a sword, within only a few months of training, Madog knew it would not be enough.

Arthur mourned that he ever took hold of a blade - he knew his destiny as a second son. Because Madog was the Crown Prince of Camelot, and no one was allowed to beat him.

After that first time, Arthur never let himself win against Madog again.

At least, not when anyone else was around.

When Madog was praised as the best warrior in the land, no one corrected him. After all, it would not do for the second son to be better than the first.

Uther never looked. Uther never saw.

Uther smiled at Madog, and kept his face blank for Arthur, who took his wife away, and who had made the sacrifice in vain.

Arthur never gained more than second place in a tournament.

When he realized his father wouldn't care, he stopped trying all together.

He trained, he fought when necessary - but he knew he would always have to bend to his brother.

For the sake of Camelot, the kingdom saw the fall of Prince Arthur.

The fall that was never a fall.

* * *

It wasn't long after he started training with the knights that it first happened.

"Beautiful, your younger son," Bayard commented to Uther off-handedly. "Shame, so much beauty would go to waste on the second son, rather than the first. Not that you are not handsome, Uther, for your eldest's taking after you. But your queen and her progeny..."

Uther didn't miss the way Bayard eyed Arthur from his seat at the high table.

"What would you do with a beauty like that?" he asked, voice low, soft - only for his fellow king.

"...take advantage of what I have," Bayard said.

"If I were to do the same," Uther offered, hating to besmirch Ygraine's looks like this, but knowing that finally, her sacrifice would not be in vain. "How would the treaty's signing fare, tomorrow?"

"Very well."

And so, in the corridor soon after, as noble guests slowly retired to their chambers, Uther brought his younger son towards the royal guest corridor, and crouched down and said, "Arthur - tonight, you will finally be able to do service to Camelot."

Arthur's head snapped up eagerly.

"Bayard wishes to be...entertained, tonight. You will go to his chambers, and you will stay the night, and do whatever he asks of you. Do you understand? So long as it is not a betrayal or attack upon Camelot, you do _everything_ he asks."

Arthur nodded, head bobbing up and down. "Of course, Father. I will make you proud."

* * *

The next morning, Arthur lay curled up sobbing in his own bed. The court physician had already come to see him, and Arthur had bore through the humiliation of the treatment, but he found it almost worth it at the end when the soreness and the aches were gone.

He slept through midday, willing the bruises to go away, from both his body and his ego. He still burned from the humiliation of what happened, burned, because he had promised his father that he would make him proud, but instead, instead-

Father came to him after lunch. Arthur tried to get up, but Father bade him to remain laying down.

"Bayard signed the peace treaty, and more," he said softly, stroking his son's hair.

Arthur leaned into the touch. He knew it was weak, but father so rarely showed this sorts of affection towards him, saving his pats for Madog and his strokes for Morgana.

"Thank you, my son," Father said. "I am so proud of you, for your service to Camelot."

Arthur beamed. This was worth any pain and humiliation he would have to endure.

* * *

The next time a faraway King took interest in Arthur, the boy dreaded every step to the king's chambers, memories of last time predicting what would happen tonight.

He was right.

But the next morning, when Father came in to congratulate him on the knights' exchange they won, Arthur knew, finally, he was doing something right, doing something for the service of Camelot.

He would do this as many times as necessary.

* * *

He did this as many times as necessary.

* * *

_"Who do you think you are, the king?"_

_"No, I'm his son."_

Merlin shook his head as he stood in the background of the feast where he was serving. King Uther sat down, then Prince Madog, Prince Arthur, and the Lady Morgana, and sequentially several nobles after. Court Politics, ugh.

He tried to focus, instead, on Lady Helen, and her beautiful singing voice - really, it was quite lovely...up until he noticed, the people falling asleep, the webs developing - _magic_.

It wasn't just a beautiful voice.

Merlin clapped his hands over his ears, and watched as she approached the high table-

-approached Prince _Arthur_. What the hell? The king, easy to get, and even killing Prince Madog would be understandable...but Prince Arthur?

Without thinking, he made the chandelier fall on her body.

Without thinking, he pushed the second prince out of the way of the witch's knife.

Without thinking, he became the second prince's personal manservant upon declaration of the king.

Uther smiled at Merlin, saying, "Thank you, for saving my son." Not _the prince_, but, _my son_.

Merlin wondered if this was what the sorceress had seen.

Prince Madog came to Merlin as well, granting the rewarding smile, polite but charming enough, if not quite like his brother, and said, "Thank you for saving my brother."

Prince Arthur just looked at him in disdain, before turning away.

* * *

It was with trepidation that Merlin approached the opening to the fighting ring, magic on his fingers. That shifty Valiant knight was about to fight Arthur - the last round before he faced the Crown Prince, Madog, himself. And apparently, Valiant knew what very few other knights did: even though Arthur never took first place for himself, he was a much better warrior than his brother.

When the fighting started, Merlin kept to the shadows, taking advantage of everyone else's focus on the fight, and called forward the snakes.

Morgana threw Arthur the sword, and Merlin could see Madog twitching, and Uther sighing in relief, when Arthur beheaded the snakes, and killed Valiant.

* * *

_"How can Arthur be the future king? He's second in line for the throne! Is his brother going to die?"_

_"I cannot tell you the destiny of the Brother of the Once and Future King - what I can tell you is that it is _Arthur_ with whom your destiny lies, and it is _Arthur_ who will one day become king of Camelot and unite all of Albion."_

* * *

Merlin stood in numb shock as he watched the flames underground dissipate, and Madog and Arthur stared at the spot that had been the Afanc.

"We did it!" Madog said suddenly, shouting in glee. He and Arthur laughed in relief together, and Merlin sighed, wondering if one day, he would get any credit for this - he doubted it - and trailed the ecstatic princes tiredly to the main chambers, where Madog and Arthur strode in, and Arthur hung back as Madog went forward.

"Father!" he said. "We did it, the plague, it was caused by an Afanc, and we got rid of it!"

Uther beamed, a hand on Madog's son. "Well done, my son - I knew you could do it!"

And Merlin watched in resigned sadness and anger as Arthur's face fell blank. They were both quickly accustomed to Madog taking all the credit.

_"But it's just not right, Arthur!"_

_"Merlin, it doesn't matter - it looks good for the kingdom, for Camelot, for Madog to be seen as the best of the best."_

_"But you're-"_

_"Second in line - so I must be second best."_

_"You're better than him!"_

_"Camelot cannot know."_

"Both of you," Uther addressed his sons, though his gaze remained solely on Madog. "Go to your chambers, rest - we will have a banquet in your honor within the week!"

And Arthur continued to go unacknowledged, and unnoticed.

* * *

It wasn't too long later that Merlin found out how deep Uther's lack of care for his second son went, when the Mercian delegation came to Camelot.

He knew something was off from the way Arthur had been distracted the entire week up until their arrival for the new peace treaty - how Arthur was actually _jumpy_. How Arthur paled upon seeing Bayard when he entered the throne room - everything thing, all the little things, adding up.

"Merlin," Arthur said, on the eve of the signing. His stance was rigid, his voice was tight, his face pale, his hands trembling. "You are dismissed."

"...all right, Arthur, what's wrong?"

"Nothing that concerns you," Arthur bit back. "Now _leave_. I won't been needing you until midday, tomorrow."

"Midday?" Merlin said in surprise. Though Madog was in charge of the knights, Arthur was always out several hours before, and after, his brother, helping to train those falling behind and those seeking to get ahead, and work on his craft by himself where no one will see anything upsurping towards the future King of Camelot. The knights' training would practically be out by midday!

"I won't be joining the knights tomorrow," Arthur said stiffly. "Or the day after. They won't miss me."

They both knew Arthur was wrong - all of the knights appreciated Arthur's efforts, even if most didn't take advantage of his extra hours themselves. These were the ones who knew the truth of the best warrior of the land.

"Arthur, what's wrong?"

"GET OUT!"

Merlin's eyes widened and he backed up several steps in fear of a rage from Arthur he's never seen before.

"Get out," Arthur says quietly, his voice broken - _pleading_.

In all the time that Merlin has known him, Arthur was far too proud a man to beg.

The fear of whatever it is that could reduce Arthur to begging was what finally made him leave.

* * *

An hour later, talking to Gaius, Merlin was staring at his mentor in shock and felt so, so sick...so...

"So Uther just...just..._whores_ Arthur out? His own son?"

Gaius sighed. "He does it for the benefit of the kingdom."

"But...Arthur...he's so..." he remembers Arthur's golden pride, and how much he shut it away, his one lifeline, for the benefit of Camelot.

"Uther...always praises Arthur after, and occasionally stoops to affection," Gaius said. "I suspect that is what drives Arthur."

Merlin shut his eyes, feeling shame and grief on behalf of Arthur - because he knew Arthur would do everything to never feel that type of pain.

* * *

The next morning, just before midday, Merlin made sure to grab extras of all of Arthur's favorites from the kitchens for Arthur's brunch. The cooks are disturbingly understanding. He walked to Arthur's chambers, carefully balancing the tray in his hands, his pouch of medicines by his side, making the slow, careful trek all the way up to Arthur's chambers, determined to be somewhat competent this morning.

When he got there, he was met with the sight of Arthur laying on his side on the bed, facing away from the door and Merlin, curled into a ball so tight Merlin's sure it had to hurt. So late in the day, that Arthur was still in bed was already unusual, but like this...

His breathing was slow and even, so he was still asleep. Merlin gently, quietly, set down the platter of food, his eyes flashing to preserve the food's temperatures, before setting about quietly cleaning up the prince's chambers, setting aside what would need to be washed, what he would need to repair.

Though he kept quiet, soon enough, Arthur awoke, groaning with sleep as he twisted in bed, and Merlin felt a guilty flash at how he couldn't help but admire the gold of the sunlight reflecting off Arthur's chest - especially when a moment later, he caught sight of the bruises, along Arthur's hips, arms, and shoulders.

He recognized them all too well.

Arthur froze when he saw Merlin, and Merlin quickly looked away, gesturing towards the table. "Breakfast. But first..."

He reached inside the pouch and pulled out two vials. "I know how to apply these...?"

Arthur shut his eyes and relented, nodding, before suddenly, he grabbed the middle one from Merlin's hand. "I know how to apply this one. Just...turn away."

Merlin sighed and nodded, turning back and setting out the cutlery, letting Arthur apply the oil for abrasions to his most sensitive areas.

When Merlin was called forth, he brought the clothes to the bed, before pulling back the bedclothes and taking on the best clinical air from Gaius that he could, seeing for himself how reassuring it was for most patients.

Arthur lay there, staring up at the ceiling while Merlin worked over his body with the bruise salve. He started with the ones on Arthur's ankles, then his knees, his thighs, his hips. He quickly had Arthur dress in breeches before continuing on to the ones over Arthur's chest, on his arms, his shoulders, and even the ones on his collar bones, the ones Merlin knew would come only from the work of a mouth.

Once Arthur was cared for and dressed, he sat gingerly at the table to eat.

Despite Merlin working to make sure Arthur had his favorites, Arthur ate very little - what he did eat was mostly at Merlin's prodding.

Then Uther came in.

The knock resonated from the door, along with Uther's voice resonating, "It is the king - open this door."

Merlin hurriedly complied, and Uther didn't pay him a second glance as he walked in.

He smiled at Arthur. Smiled. At. Arthur.

"Bayard signed the peace treaty peacefully," Uther said, standing over Arthur. "Thank you - you've done Camelot proud."

The smile that was on Arthur's face made Merlin's stomach clench as he closed the door behind the king when he left.

And the grin on Arthur's face when he turned around made it twist and flop around, and he didn't know whether to be delighted at the presence of it or horrified by what coaxed it out.

He smiled back at Arthur encouragingly, and the smile became at least somewhat real as Arthur started to devour his breakfast, before Arthur left for Council and Merlin cleaned up the room.

When he saw the drops of blood on the bedsheets, he closed his eyes to hold back the tears, before continuing on with his chores.

* * *

Much, much later, when Merlin had just consumed the antidote from the Morteus flower and was lying in bed, Prince Madog came by to see him.

"Sire," Merlin greeted, pushing himself up to be able to give at least a semblance of a bow.

Madog didn't respond, just leaned against the table and studied Merlin shrewdly. Merlin fidgeted, wonder how best to ask _what the hell do you want_ without getting himself flogged.

"What is it about you, Merlin?" he asked, suddenly. "That has my brother so devoted to you?"

"He's not...he isn't _devoted_ to me," Merlin said. "Arthur just loves the people of Camelot - he will do anything to save them. I am just another-"

"No," Madog said. "You are not."

And without another word, he swept out of the room, every bit his father's son.

Arthur came by later.

"Did you get in trouble?" Merlin asked, softly. "Your brother was in here earlier..."

Arthur shook his head. "Madog just thinks I was an idiot for risking my life for a servant, and so does my father. He tried to yell at me about putting the kingdom at risk, until I pointed out that with Madog around, I don't matter."

Merlin frowned. "You do, too, matter."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Father can find otherwise to loosen the signing hands of our adversaries without me-"

"Arthur," Merlin said, reaching out to grasp Arthur's hand in his. Why couldn't he see this? "You're the best warrior in the land - no, I don't care about politics, you _are_ - and you're a good leader and knight and you care about your people. You matter. Your people love you."

Merlin almost added _I love you_, but he didn't think Arthur was ready for that, yet.

"...they're not my people, Merlin," Arthur said, somewhat sadly. "They are my father's people, and one day, they will be my brother's people. But they will never be _my_ people."

_You're wrong,_ Merlin thought, but doesn't say. _Camelot is yours. Albion is yours. They will be. I will make sure of it._

* * *

**...okay, yeah, the first chapter sucked. It gets better, I promise! :D**

**Comments are love!  
**


	2. Second Son

**Primogeniture - Chapter 02 - Second Son**

A few weeks later, Merlin was standing outside the council doors alongside Lancelot, and inside, Madog and Arthur were arguing over him.

"I should leave," Lancelot murmured. "You're the one who killed the griffin. And I will not be the cause of a rift between the two brothers."

Merlin shook his head. "You didn't cause it."

"But I widened it."

And yes - when Lancelot had lied to get into the knighthood, when Arthur had known and done nothing about it...Madog was furious. Uther was, too, though less for being fooled by a peasant and more for Arthur lying to him.

"Stay," Merlin pleaded.

Lancelot shook his head. He took a deep breath, looking like he was steeling himself for something, and barged into the council chambers.

Arthur and Madog were on opposite sides of the table, facing each other angrily, while Uther seemed to be presiding.

"What is the meaning of this?" Uther demanded.

And as Merlin stood there and listened to Lancelot refuse to continue lying and refuse to cause a rift between the brothers or among the knights and endanger Camelot in the process, Merlin wondered what use he was to Arthur when he couldn't even help one sodding knight, and how he was supposed to help a prince, and help a kingdom.

"Lancelot!" Arthur called when Lancelot turned to walk away. The now-knight-errant turned to Arthur. "You are a true knight, if not a knight of Camelot. Go with honor."

When Lancelot was gone, Madog said, "You truly believe such a liar could have honor?"

"He told one lie to circumvent one stupid rule!" Arthur cried out.

"_Stupid_ rule?" Madog shouted. "You would have us open the doors of knighthood to everyone?"

"Yes," Arthur ground out.

"Arthur," Uther snapped. "You know how dangerous this could be-"

"And how dangerous would it be if Lancelot hadn't been here? If he hadn't killed that damned griffin?" Arthur demanded, though his words were still directed at his brother.

Madog never answered. Uther dismissed them both.

* * *

The next few weeks are chaos. Arthur causes some disorder in the court when falling for that mysterious girl.

Merlin was rather surprised - not of her, but of Arthur's enthusiasm.

Because Arthur and romance...

_"Who do you love, sire?"_

"I love my father, I love my brother, I-"

"You know what I mean, Arthur. I know enough about nobles that no one ever loves who they're married to. Who would you court, go to for true romance?"

"I don't need true romance, Merlin."

"Everyone does...have you ever had an affair? Plenty of willing maidservants around."

"..."

"Arthur?"

"Once. A laundry maid, a while back. It...it didn't go well."

"What do you mean?"

"She was only interested in my looks and what my appearance could offer. I...I..."

"You what?"

"...I was hoping for...well, romance and sex are two different things, aren't they? I get enough sex - and the girl wasn't interested in romance."

"So the tumble was bad?"

"It's always bad."

"...no, it's-"

"It's overrated is what it is. Romance and love and sex are all overrated."

"There a part of being human."

"No - they're a part of being a person. You don't have to be a person to be a human."

...did not mix.

Arthur got enough of 'love' from the nobles Uther sold his son to, and Merlin knew Arthur hated the idea of chasing after other girls or boys or whatever he would be interested in...because he wasn't - Arthur was too scared and too broken to bother with being interested.

Seeing Arthur's isolation, induced by his father's hunger for power, made Merlin's blood boil - because no one should be made to fear love. And yet that's exactly what had happened to Arthur.

So Merlin, who had once pondered an advance on the prince, knew better than to try - at best, he would be rejected, and at worst, Arthur would fire him - for real, this time - and send him far away where he couldn't hurt Arthur.

When Sophia came and Arthur was head over heels in love and chasing after whole heartedly - Merlin was surprised, but happy, because finally, maybe Arthur was recovering, and he was smiling and happy and yes, love works, sex works, romance was real, and-

-it turned out to be a spell. A sidhe enchantment, and Merlin would've been sorely tempted to just _leave_ the spell in place if it weren't for the fact the fairies were planning to kill Arthur.

Merlin hated the despondent look in Arthur's eyes a week later, when Uther let a lower noble than he usually allowed to have Arthur.

Something sacred turned into something hated.

Merlin continued to watch and protect and adore from afar.

* * *

_"Stop, or I'll run you through."_

Merlin was steadily panicking as he sat in his bed wondering what the hell to do, because Morgana had almost managed to escape with the Druid boy, but then Madog had to go and capture Morgana. She was currently locked up and so was the boy and Merlin just found out the boy was going to one day _kill Arthur_ and, and, and-

"Merlin," Arthur said that evening.

"...he's a little boy," Merlin muttered. "Helpless." Merlin didn't know whether he meant the boy or himself.

Arthur sunk deeper into thought. "Helpless," he murmured

And days later, Merlin found himself thinking that maybe he wasn't loyal enough to Arthur if he was helping the boy live.

"His name is Mordred," Arthur said conversationally when they were safely back in his chambers. "Rather nice boy, actually."

Merlin nodded numbly, wishing he _felt_ that he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life, instead of just knowing it.

* * *

The Black Knight finished off Sir Pellinore, and Merlin watched as he threw down the gauntlet again.

The knight was already dead, and would not stop until the knights of Camelot were no more.

Madog leaped up to take up the gauntlet and accept the challenge, when Uther held him back. "Let the knights of Camelot have the chance to prove themselves," he said blandly.

So, of course, Arthur took advantage of his father's distraction, jumped down, and picked up the gauntlet.

Merlin watched in horror as Arthur gazed at the dead man and said, "I accept your challenge."

Madog raged and Uther mourned, and Merlin wondered why the hell Arthur would do such a thing.

"You heard my father," Arthur said later. "To let the knights of Camelot prove themselves."

With the way Arthur was practicing his sword forms in his chambers, Merlin blurted out, "Your father's pride will be useless if you are _dead_."

Arthur froze, before slowly turning a cold gaze, ice cold, on Merlin.

"Get out."

Merlin had enough experience to do so, going instead to beg help from the dragon.

Considering how determined Arthur had been the night before, Merlin was rather shocked when Uther walked into the armory the next morning.

"Prepare me for battle," Uther said, ignoring Merlin's protests.

Merlin did so with shaking hands, watching in surprise as Uther took the sword, _the sword meant for Arthur_, and took it.

"You have shown admirable loyalty to my son," Uther said, testing out the blade. "That is a rare quality, especially as he is my second son."

"We...you could say we have a bond, sire," Merlin said, finishing up with the gauntlets.

"...I'm glad," Uther said, sword hand finally stilling. "He needs someone to look after him."

Merlin was caught between wanting to shout that Arthur isn't as useless as Uther thinks and wanting to be glad that _that_ someone was _him_.

Uther walked out to his not-doom. Merlin followed, and saw Madog looking around the royal viewing box in confusion, which turned to horro when he saw his father, and-

The battle was quick. Apparently, Tristan wasn't the greatest of sword fighters while dead, and Uther landed a blow that with the magical sword actually killed the damn undead knight, this time.

Later, when Merlin was helping Uther get the armor off, he blurted out, "Why did you do this, sire? You're the king, and Arthur is...is only, the...second son. You..."

Uther took a deep breath. "Second son he may be - he is still my son."

And he left, and Merlin stared after him in amazement. He didn't think he'd ever understand the king, and now he was fairly certain he would never want to.

Later still, when he was throwing the sword in the lake, Merlin wondered at Arthur's willingness to die for his father's pride, and Uther's willingness to die for his son.

...they were an absolutely insane family.

* * *

Merlin found himself under Arthur's scrutiny, weeks later, on their way back from Ealdor. They were stopped for camp, that night. Gwen and Morgana were giving him some distance to let him mourn his best friend, but Arthur was remaining firmly pressed to his side.

"...you grew up with a sorcerer?" Arthur asked.

Merlin sighed. "I don't care what you think, sire, but Will's not dangerous, not to me. He's only ever helped, or tried to."

"Tried to?"

"...sometimes he messed up," Merlin said quietly. "But he always fixed it, one way or another."

He hated building more lies into Arthur's life, but he had no choice.

"He may not have had ill intentions, but he was powerful."

"So are you, and that hasn't stopped me yet."

"I'm not that powerful, Merlin, I had to defer to my father and my brother-"

"That's not what I was talking about," Merlin said. "You could kill me with your sword at any given moment and I'd be helpless." He wouldn't, actually, and would probably win, but that was beside the point. "And I'm still here. It seems I'm helpless wherever I go. At least Will was my best friend, and I knew he'd never hurt me."

It took him a moment to realize what he said, and once he did, he sorely wished he knew a way to turn back time.

"...I'm not your friend?" Arthur asked quietly, his voice badly masking a wretched tone.

"You're my master, and you're a Prince of Camelot. I'm just a servant."

There was more silence, before Arthur got up and went to his bedroll without another word.

Well, no - he said one thing. "Even if I'm not _your_ friend, you're that of _mine_, and the best one I've ever had. And maybe the only true one."

And then he went to sleep.

Merlin couldn't look him in the eye the rest of the way home.

* * *

They eventually managed to get back to normal, just in time for Merlin to watch in horror as Arthur killed a unicorn. Couldn't the prat _see_ what he had done?

But of course he couldn't - his father's pride outshone everything else, and as Uther crowed about his son, his youngest, having killed a unicorn, Merlin knew that Arthur could see nothing else.

Until his people started starving.

And then, he was trying to sodding _poison_ himself.

"You're the prince," Merlin said, as they poured the first goblet's contents into the second. "Camelot needs you."

"Camelot has my brother. The people need me to die," he said, and then with a lightening fast strike he took the goblet, drained it, and collapsed.

Even when it just turned out to be a sleeping drought, even when it all ended up being a test, even when they'd buried the horn and resurrected the unicorn in the process, Merlin pondered Arthur, and wondered how his father, his brother, and his kingdom, could all be so blind as to what they had before them.

* * *

Merlin watched in a concussive haze, Sidhe staff limp in his hands, as Tauren's body fell off Morgana's knife, his grip on Uther's throat slipping as he landed next to the unconscious Madog. At the last minute, Madog and Uther fought the assassin, but it's _Morgana_ who killed him. Morgana, even after she set up this entire deal. Morgana, who had spent the last hour talking quietly with Uther, while Madog watched dispassionately.

He was in a bit of a confused daze as he stumbled back home. He pushed the staff under his bed and wandered up to Arthur's rooms.

It was still empty, inside - Arthur was still consoling Gwen, then. He was there when Arthur had argued with his brother, and won, to let Gwen stay, despite her father's crime. Madog distrusted her, especially around Morgana, saying the woman would never be able to defend herself.

Merlin's lips only quirked at the memory of Arthur reminding his brother that Morgana would have no compunctions about castrating him if she ever heard that.

He took a deep breath, and tried to shove away the memories of Morgana's attempted assassination, of Madog's attempted murder of the assassin, of Gwen's attempts to cope with her father's death, and of his own attempts to make things right.

Because that's all they were: attempts.

* * *

This time, it was in horror that Merlin watched as the monster - it looked like a Questing Beast, according to Gaius's books - approached the hunting party.

"Arthur, move!" he shouted. But Arthur could only go so fast with his half-conscious brother's body slung over his shoulder.

They managed a moment of respite long enough to get the Crown Prince back on his feet and supported by his knights, before Arthur turned and went after the Questing Beast.

"ARTHUR!" Merlin shouted as he ran after the stupid prat, because why the hell else would he _go after_ the damn thing?

He found Arthur in the cave, and heard the crown prince and the rest of the knights following around the mouth of the cave as he and Arthur waited for the Questing Beast to show itself.

"We need to get out of her, Arthur," Merlin hissed. "This thing's magic - one small wound, a _scratch_, and you're dead!"

"Then I can't allow this thing to live to terrorize the people!" Arthur hissed back equally, and then turned when the damned thing showed itself and-

Merlin could do nothing, _nothing_ as he tried to heal Arthur. The beast ran away after injuring Arthur, and Merlin knew exactly what that meant: the beast was sure that Arthur was going to die.

* * *

Uther collapsed under the weight of carrying his son halfway across the courtyard, sobbing for all the people to see.

Madog took Arthur in his arms, a blank expression on his face as he turned and continued onto the path. Sir Leon helped the king to his feet for them to follow briskly.

That night, the Court of Camelot watched in shock as for the first time in almost a decade, Uther unleashed true fury on his golden son.

_"You were supposed to protect him!"_

"There wasn't much I could do once he ran after the damn thing!"

"You should have stopped him-"

"I was barely even conscious by then, I tried, but Arthur was too far ahead of us and goading the creature!"

And so on.

* * *

Later, in Arthur's room, closer to dawn than proper, Merlin was finishing up washing his unconscious prince when he heard Uther tell Madog, "Do you remember what I told you? When Arthur was born? When you asked why he came, as he took your mother away?"

"...that he was mine to protect."

For the first time, it was the eldest brother who had failed. He clearly didn't take well to failure, not as accustomed to it as Arthur.

Merlin could see it in the glares Madog sent towards his dying brother.

Finally, when Leon got Madog back to his own chambers and Gaius persuaded Uther to go get some rest, Merlin was left alone to tend to Arthur in his bed.

_The price will be a life in order to save Arthur's._

"I'll get you well," Merlin murmured to Arthur's still form. "You'll be a great king. I don't know how, or when, but you will."

He almost ended it there, but remembering all the hardships Arthur had endured and would continue to endure once he was better, this time without Merlin, the warlock leaned over and kissed Arthur on the forehead, granting him one last show of love and affection that wasn't tainted with intent or meaning or expectation. Just...just him.

"Goodbye, Arthur," Merlin said quietly, before he left the room, left the castle, and left Camelot.

* * *

It was in a sort of daze that Merlin returned home, the curing water clutched in his hand.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Arthur woke, and was up and well, and Uther, for once, hugged his son in joy.

It was brief and Uther had stepped away from Arthur immediately after, to put a manly and proper amount of space back between them. But the grin on Arthur's face and happiness in his eyes at finally, finally, _finally_ receiving such acknowledgment from his father made Merlin secure in his knowledge that his sacrifice of his life would not be in vain. If nothing else, seeing, for once, the look of pride and joy on Arthur's face was worth his life.

Merlin drank it in, knowing that it wouldn't last.

Or so he had thought.

"The Crown Prince has fallen gravely ill," Gaius said, almost baffled, just a day later.

The Crown Prince was dying. Merlin wasn't.

"This wasn't how it was supposed to go," Merlin whispered to Gaius in horror when he saw Uther yet again greiving his son - this time, his oldest. This time, it was Arthur who sat by his father as they kept vigil over Madog.

"It is your destiny to help Arthur become king," Gaius said.

"Not at the cost of his brother's life!"

"Are you so sure?"

Merlin's jaw hardened. "Nimueh has taken too much from this family already," he said. "I will not let her take anymore."

Gaius nodded distractedly, tending after the prince he had watched grow up from a bright-eyed boy into a knight in command, into the Crown Prince of Camelot. Merlin could see the mourning in his eyes, too, the same look he had held for Arthur, for Morgana, for Merlin.

Camelot had suffered enough. She could stand to lose a servant, but not a Prince, not another member of its royal family.

He wanted to say goodbye to Arthur. Want to give him one last loving kiss, the last Arthur might ever get. Wanted to hug him at least once, himself, before facing his death. But Arthur couldn't bear to pull away from his brother.

_Goodbye, Arthur,_ Merlin thought to himself as he quietly shut the door to Madog's chamber when he left. _Don' be a prat. Be a good king to the people. I'll miss you. Please don't forget me._

And mostly, _I love you._

* * *

It was an oddly harrowing experience to have to ride back, practically carrying Gaius on his horse, from the Isle of the Blessed. His veins were thrumming with power inherited from Nimueh, and he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself when he followed Gaius up the castle steps and back into Madog's room. Already, he was improving.

He was awake when the king and prince returned in the morning.

"Thank you, Gaius, so much," Uther said, holding the physician's hand dearly as his eyes kept flickering back to his two sons on Madog's bed, sharing their lunch like they were little boys again. The two boys nodded along with Uther in gratitude.

"It wasn't me, sires," Gaius said, suddenly, and for a brief, hysterical moment, Merlin felt panic as he thought Gaius was about to expose his magic- "Merlin was the one who had found the cures. When I was about to pronounce them dead, in both cases, he took that one last desperate try."

Madog just stared incredulously, and Arthur smiled at him with pride, and Uther turned to him, put his hands on his shoulders, and said sincerely, "You have done much for my family, Merlin. Despite your impudence, your protection and care of my family has fallen far beyond the measure of any normal servant, and Camelot truly owes you a debt for your loyalty to my sons."

"I-i-it's nothing, sire," Merlin said. "They were just stabs in the dark that got lucky." This was wrong, he wasn't supposed to be _thanked_, because he had failed to protect Arthur, and then it was him that had gotten Madog sick, and this was all wrong, wrong, wrong. _"Just my duty to the Crown, sire."_

"This has fallen far beyond duty, Merlin," Arthur called out.

"And for that," Uther said. "We thank you."

With one final squeeze, he turned and strode back to his sons, who were sitting on the bed and turned to face their father, and Merlin stumbled back the last few steps. First Arthur dying, then the prince, then killing Nimueh, then getting her power, then Uther thanking him, this was impossible, all of it was impossible, and it was just too much, too much, _too much_-

"Merlin," Gaius said quietly. "If you cannot regain your senses, perhaps you should go back to your own room and rest for a bit. You have had a long and trying day."

Merlin nodded, seeing Madog's still disbelieving look, and Arthur's more scrutinizing gaze, looking for something as he looked at Merlin, and he left before Arthur could find it.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Merlin was greeted with that night when Arthur opened the door to his chambers.

"Nothing," Merlin said hurriedly, finishing up turning down Arthur's bed and setting out the water and medicines. "The only one you need to worry about is taking this one when you wake up, Gaius will be here to help with the rest tomorrow morning, and I've set out your nightclothes, and-"

"That's not what I meant."

The timber of Arthur's voice had Merlin freezing up as he smoothed out Arthur's nightclothes over the bed spread, before going back to it, trying to ignore the shaking of his hands.

"Well, then, sire, I can't help you, because I did all my chores right..."

He trailed off into silence when he felt a large, warm hand on his shoulder. Following the pressure of the hand, Merlin let himself be turned around to face Arthur. He stood there, regal as ever, with with his arm in a sling, a concerned look on his face. It didn't belong there, not for Merlin. "What's wrong? You looked like you were in a panic when my father thanked you. And you've been inordinately nervous, today. And you've been acting...strange, ever since I woke up from the poison."

"Just...worried, is all, for both of you, and-"

"_Merlin_," Arthur said, firmly. He pushed down on Merlin's shoulder, forcing him to sit on the bed as Arthur paced around slowly in front of him. "You don't...you're not...this isn't..."

He sighed. "If there's one thing I've gained from being...from the private liaisons I've had with all the nobles necessary for Camelot's benefit-" _From being whored out by your father,_ a protective part of Merlin's mind translated. "-it's perception. It's necessary for that kind of political seduction, and it's useful everywhere else. Something is wrong, more than just worry for our health. You looked guilty when my father thanked you, and you were panicked. You seem..." he sighed. "You seem not you. Something is going on. So _tell_ me, for god's sake!"

"It's nothing to do with you, and I'm still doing my chores as usual, so I don't see why I have to tell you ever detail of my life!" Merlin cried back.

Arthur gave him a long, shrewd look, before turning away, his gaze locked on the flames in the fireplace.

"...you don't _have_ to," Arthur said quietly. "I would like you to. You know every shameful detail of my life - I only ask that you return the favor, so I can help you as much as you have helped me."

A long pause.

"There is no helping me, Arthur," Merlin said quietly, looking down at the rug in front of the fireplace, twisting the hem of his shirt in nervous fingers. "Please - let's just get to our beds and sleep and work towards your and your brother's good health in the morning."

Arthur laughed with no trace of humor. "Is that it, Merlin? You know my secrets but I don't get to know yours?"

"It's my job to know your secrets and manage them for you," Merlin said. "Your job doesn't need my own."

Arthur sighed. "I know you don't think of us as friends-"

"I do, Arthur," Merlin said, looking up, his fingers stilling where they were tangled in the wool of his shirt. "You are."

"Then why won't you tell me anything about you? Especially when you know so much about me?"

"...your secrets won't get you killed, Arthur. Mine will. It's...I'd rather not do that to you, or anyone, and I'd rather...it's easier. Simpler, this way."

"You're not making any sense, Merlin," Arthur said, turning back around to face him, even crouching slightly to face Merlin, before wincing and opting to see on the bed, instead, bringing one leg up and one foot on the floor, so his knee was digging into Merlin's thigh. Merlin was staring at where the tip of his boot pressed into the side of Merlin's. "I'm the Prince of Camelot - I can protect you from anyone in the kingdom."

"Except from your own family," Merlin said. "Except from the laws of Camelot."

Arthur frowned in confusion. "Are you doing something illegal, Merlin?"

Merlin bit his lip and shut his eyes. There was no getting out of this.

He nodded.

It was just as well - if he was going to die somewhere in this debacle, perhaps by Arthur's hand was the best way to go.

A long pause, before Arthur slowly wrapped gentle fingers around Merlin's wrist.

"Tell me," he pleaded. And Merlin couldn't resist by then. This was all too much, and after everything else, there was no way he could deal with lying his way out of this one. The easiest way would be to tell the truth.

So he did.

* * *

**Comments are love! :)**


	3. Laid Bare

**Primogeniture**, Chapter 3: Laid Bare

* * *

It was with a detached manner, a few minutes later, that Merlin watched as Arthur slowly got up and backed away from Merlin after he had explained...everything.

"You _lied_ to me?" Arthur hissed in horror, betrayal rampant in his eyes.

"I had no _choice_!" Merlin cried out. He couldn't deal with this, not this, not now. "I...you...you're _Uther's son_, what was I supposed to do? Supposed to think?"

Arthur didn't seem to hear him. "I trusted you! _You!_ You, of all people! I...why..._why?_" His good arm was held out in front of him defensively, even as he leaned against the bedpost in exhaustion.

"I was scared," Merlin said. "How was I supposed to know whether or not I would live? I still don't know!"

"You think I value our friendship so little?" Arthur said, voice deep in anger.

"...no," Merlin said. "I think you value your father's pride enough to turn in the sorcerer who has hidden in the heart of Camelot for over a year."

Arthur turned away sharply, but not before Merlin saw how Arthur's eyes shone with the burden of too much weighing on his heart.

There was silence. Lots of it. The fire was dying, and for lack of anything better to do, Merlin went to add in another log to warm the room a little more.

"Leave," Arthur said. "Just...get out."

He seemed to ask that of Merlin quite a bit.

"I'll..." Merlin didn't know what to say, and instead, he just left.

* * *

The next morning, Arthur glared at him when he walked in with his breakfast. Merlin, having no idea as to what else to do, had simply fallen back on routine.

"Do you have _any_ sense of self preservation, Merlin?" Arthur asked. "At all?"

"Er...no?" Merlin said.

Arthur just turned and stared, breathing, before turning away again to lean in the window like he always did when he was thinking. He liked to watch his city while thinking. "Last night, you told me...how you healed me. I want to know every instance of magic you've done in Camelot, every time you've used magic since you came here."

"Okay..." Merlin said, taking a deep breath. He could do this. Just...talk. Talking. He was good at that (no matter what Arthur said otherwise). "Well, all the big things-"

"I said every instance, Merlin."

"Most of my magic is for chores, and it's small, I don't remember every instance!" Merlin protested.

Arthur snorted, turning to face Merlin again. "Figures you'd be a sorcerer just to to be lazy with your chores-"

"Oi!" Merlin cried out, forgetting their fall out and fight and all that. "Magic is hard! It's not lazing about for me to use magic for the chores, just me speeding things up! I have to use it to get by because I have so much to do!"

"So much to do?" Arthur said,

"I'm your servant, and I'm Gaius's assistant! Not to mention, I'm always saving your arse and protecting you-"

"Protecting me?" Arthur cried out incredulously. "How can you protect me? You can barely lift a sword! You're a walking twig!"

"I don't need a sword, and I'm not a walking twig! And even if I were, I'm a walking twig that can do magic!"

Arthur's face fell from his customary expression of banter, and silence took over as they came back to the crux of the problem.

"...protecting me?" he repeated, this time simply asking rather than...well, asking without believing.

"Yes," Merlin said. "The big stuff. You have a bad habit of attracting the attention of powerful magical things."

Arthur sighed, before sitting down at the table before his breakfast. He gestured for Merlin to sit on the bed, and said, "Begin, then."

With a sigh, Merlin did. He started with how he was born with magic, how he grew up with magic - how Will wasn't a sorcerer - and how he ended up coming to Camelot.

How the first thing he saw was someone being executed for using magic for their crops, how he became the servant to the king's son by accident.

And while he skipped over the dragon's words of destiny for now, he did mention it, it's "help", and he described everything he'd helped with and been through, Valiant, the Afanc, the poison, Lancelot, Edwin, Sophia, Mordred, the Black Knight, Ealdor, the unicorn...he also nearly skipped over Morgana's involvement with Tauren, but couldn't find a way to do it, so he sped right through it, and ended with his explanation of what happened with the Questing Beast from the night before.

Arthur initially didn't respond. When he saw Merlin was finished, he turned to his breakfast and never once looked up from it as he ate his way through it. Merlin fidgeted as usual. Arthur only looked up when a small growl came from Merlin's stomach.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I was nervous," Merlin murmured, ducking his head.

"When did you last eat?"

"Er..."

"Merlin," Arthur said, voice suddenly tinged with concern.

"Does it matter?" Merlin tried to distract him with. "It's not like dying will be any better if I have a full stomach when I'm executed-"

"Is that what you think?" Arthur demanded. Merlin suddenly found his face being tilted up with Arthur's good hand and being made to face him. Arthur had an oddly determined look on his face.

"How should I know? How should I get to choose for you between your loyalty to your father and your friendship with me?"

Arthur swallowed and jerked his hand back, before looking back down at his platter and asking quietly again, monotone, "When did you last eat?"

Merlin tried to remember. "That...is actually a good question."

Arthur's head snapped up, startled, and Merlin looked down at his hands. "I'm not hungry."

"Your stomach begs to differ."

"My stomach still doesn't get it's impending doom," Merlin said. "I think...breakfast, yesterday? It was an apple...before that, I had a piece of bread for dinner...you and Madog sort of took up my time."

Arthur let out an oddly distressed noise, and Merlin looked up in time to see Arthur shove his plate towards Merlin. "_Eat_, you idiot!"

Merlin shook his head, shutting his eyes. "I'm really...I can't. I'll puke it back up in minutes."

Arthur sounded distressed again, before suddenly pushing himself to standing in anger and pacing about his room again.

"You really _are_ an idiot!" he finally cried out. "Because..._Camelot_, of all the places to go to!"

Merlin had already told Arthur why he came to Camelot, so he said nothing.

When Arthur just continued pacing silently, Merlin, unable to just sit there anymore, got up and started tidying up, like always. Arthur kept a close eye on him, but Merlin went on as normal. For the most part, he cleaned Arthur's room by hand, anyway, only using magic if he was in a desperate rush of some kind, so he had no problems doing it all, right now.

He heard a sigh come from Arthur's direction, behind him.

"I knew it was too good to be true," Arthur muttered as he continued to pace.

"What?" Merlin asked, trying for conversational.

"Love," Arthur said. "That time with Sophia - it was all an enchantment."

Merlin froze.

"Merlin?"

Swallowing resolutely, Merlin turned around and said, "No. That wasn't love, that wasn't even _like_ love!"

Arthur gave him an intense look that made Merlin want to curl into himself like burning parchment, but he held his ground. "Love isn't like that, at all - Sophia, or what you've gone through with the other nobles, or that laundry maid. It's...I'm sorry you've never had anything like it, and I hope one day you do. But your experiences aren't love, and don't mix them up for it."

The prince sighed. "Doubtful, Merlin...not only is love false, but I really am useless - _you_ have been helping me all this time! What's there to fall in love with?"

Merlin gaped at him. "...you cannot be serious!" he shouted.

Arthur gave him an odd look.

"You...you..._clotpoll_!" Merlin shouted. "My 'help' is only to make sure other sorcerers don't get an unfair advantage, one no man can fight against! You did that all on your own! And there's plenty inside you to love, so much, and that...that you need to ask, is...is wrong!"

"Tell me, _Mer_lin, what exactly about me is there of interest?" Arthur demanded, leaning on his bedpost.

"You're brave," Merlin said, slowly walking forward towards Arthur. "You're loyal. You're noble. You care about people, people who no one else gives a damn about. You believe in fighting for everyone, not just nobleman. You believe in allowing people to rise on their merit, rather than their blood. You manage to love despite all the...all the not-love you're surrounded in. You care enough about life to defy your father and your brother for your servant. You...you're amazing Arthur. You're an amazing person, Arthur, and well worth all the love in the world."

By now, he had stopped in front of Arthur, so close, barely enough room to breathe between them. Merlin knew he should step away, but he couldn't.

Considering how this morning had started, Merlin wasn't entirely sure how it was that right now, he was the one standing with self-assurance before a vulnerable Arthur. It didn't make much sense, really. But here he was, in Arthur's personal space, as Arthur himself kept his gaze fixed on Merlin's chin, his nose, his forehead - anywhere but his eyes.

Merlin brought his hand up and cradled Arthur's cheek, slightly, Arthur shut his eyes as if in pain and leaned into the touch.

"You really are brilliant," Merlin said, smiling, trying to coax one out of Arthur. "You didn't hear it from me, because your head is too big already, but you're brilliant."

It was small, barely there, and the glimmer in his eyes was dim, but Arthur smiled and answered, "Of course I am." Merlin decided not to point out the lack of conviction. "Merlin...do you...find me...that is...do you..."

His eyes were almost desperate.

"Do I love you?" Merlin asked quietly.

Arthur slowly nodded, his cheek rubbing against Merlin's palm.

Merlin smiled. "Yes."

Arthur shut his eyes with a pained look. "Why?" he asked hoarsely. "I'm the son of the man, the second son of the king, who hunts and persecutes your kind. I have nothing to give you, and loving me could get you killed! _Why?_"

"Because you're worth it," Merlin said, bringing his face close to Arthur's, until the very tips of their noses were brushing.

"Are you sure about that?" Arthur murmured quietly. Merlin could feel the warm breath ghosting across his lips.

"Of course I am," Merlin said, his other hand reaching to wrap loosely around Arthur's hip. "You're Arthur, and that's all I need - that you be you."

"I'm broken," Arthur murmured.

"I don't care," Merlin said, tightening his grasp around Arthur's body, pressing their chests flush, and suddenly, he was sneaking a hug, pulling Arthur close and wrapping his arms around him. Arthur pressed his face into Merlin's shoulder.

"You have the power of life and death and the earth and the Old Religion inside of you," Arthur asked, his hands remaining limp. "You can have anything. Why me?"

"Like I said, because you're you," Merlin said. "The dragon...I'm fairly sure it was lying, but it tried to tell me that you were destined to be king with me at your side."

Arthur stiffened, and Merlin hurriedly added, "I think it was just a lie. But even if you're only ever prince, you will always look after and care for Camelot. And I will always be at your side."

He shivered just once, his lips pressing against Merlin's neck now, and his hand wrapped around Merlin's waist, too. Merlin pulled back a little, bringing his hands up to frame Arthur's face gently as he asked, "May I?", his lips only a hair's breadth form Arthur's.

"I," Arthur said, unsure. "I don't...I can't..."

"I don't want anything else, Arthur," Merlin said. "Just you. Just a kiss. Just whatever you want, even if that's nothing at all."

Arthur nodded and suddenly, Merlin found his lips pressed against those of the Prince of Camelot's, wrapped in each other's embrace. Arthur whimpered into Merlin's mouth, eyes fluttering shut in confused pleasure, but Merlin gently shushed him.

"Just you," Merlin murmured against the flesh of Arthur's cheek when he finally turned his head away with shining eyes. "Just you.

* * *

Merlin came into Arthur's room several weeks later and set down the breakfast platter, turning to see Arthur sitting on his bed, already stretching his arm while holding his sword, bringing back the muscle power to his arm as he had over the last month since the injury.

"Ah, Merlin, there you are," Arthur said, looking up. "I'm to attend to my first hunt, today, since I was injured. Have you-"

"I prepared everything last night," Merlin said with a slight eyeroll.

Arthur gave him a shrewd, almost pointed, look, and Merlin sighed and took a seat next to Arthur. Ever since he found out about Merlin's magic, he made Merlin do chores inside the room with magic, taking interest in watching his things float around and work of their own accord.

He watched the stack of hunting supplies assemble and the clothes arrange themselves over the table and the food platter float over to hover in front of him.

Arthur idly picked off a hunk of bread, broke off a piece, and handed it to Merlin, and the two ate while watching the supplies finishing stacking up in neat order.

"Useful," Arthur said. It's been the first time he has said anything while watching Merlin's magic.

Merlin smiled. Coming from Arthur, that was high praise, indeed.


	4. The Second Prince

**_Primogeniture, Chapter 4 - The Second Prince  
_**

* * *

**A/N:** Because I couldn't update Beside Me, I bring you this instead.

* * *

**Unbeta'd, due to extreme lack of patience. If you see any mistakes, feel free to tell me. :)  
**

* * *

"See, Merlin, now _that_ is how a proper servant works!" Arthur said, gesturing towards Madog's new servant, who was balancing two breakfast trays as he walked, while shooting a smug look towards Merlin.

"That bootlicker? He's just looking for quick status and money! He'll be gone in a week!" Merlin said, glaring at the new servant.

"You're just pissed off because he took credit for your boar kill," Arthur said, once they were safely in his chambers.

"Yes, I am!"

"Well, be glad he did," Arthur said, as Merlin set down the supplies and started helping him take his shirt off. "Otherwise, someone might have asked."

"_You_ could've taken credit," Merlin murmured. "You let your brother take credit for so many of your kills-"

"A few boars is not 'so many' of my kills!" Arthur cried out. "It's only a few, _out of many_, and only when it's some stupidly high noble is around."

Merlin huffed. "Yeah, yeah...still, considering how often you don't take credit for your own kills, if someone else had to take mine, I would rather it have been you!"

"Yes, well, I'm sorry, Merlin, that it wasn't!" Arthur said. "Just as well - now my brother has to put up with that annoying bootlicker."

"...I thought you said he was a proper servant?" Merlin asked.

"Your bad influence," Arthur said as he flopped on the bed while Merlin pulled off his boots. "I used to favor competence, but now I've grown far too accustomed to your particular brand of ineptitude."

"Mmhm," Merlin said.

"You've enchanted me, haven't you, to have become to accustomed to you?" Arthur asked idly, mockingly, from the bed.

"If I could enchant you to do that, I'd also enchant you into an actual human being who doesn't like piling on chores on his poor manservant. So, obviously, because you're still a prat, this isn't the case." Merlin smiled, saying, "I love logic," for once appreciative of Gaius's lessons.

Arthur rolled his eyes, only popping up when Merlin returned dangling the new shirt for him to wear.

He held himself stiff as Merlin dressed him, which made Merlin roll his eyes.

Arthur hadn't tried anything at all since the night Merlin kissed him. Merlin knew Arthur - he didn't mind. Arthur had enough on his plate without trying to push something forward with Merlin. He was determined to be a safe person for Arthur. Right now, the prince was slowly getting around to that fact.

"Well," Arthur said easily. "Cedric is a fairly normal threat, for once. Just a quick-money seeker. At most, we'll only have to worry about him trying to steal a few jewels or a bag of gold. A nice change of threat, for once."

* * *

So, of course, Cedric turned into an evil sorcerer. To be fair, the man himself wasn't the sorcerer - he was just possessed by the spirit of one.

* * *

_"Where's my son? Madog, where's Arthur?"_

"He went out to deal with some of the creatures, himself."

"Leon-"

"We've already closed the gates, sire."

"My son is still out there!"

"Sire-"

"Father - I will retrieve him."

"Find him, find him now, and bring him back!"

* * *

"Do you have the heart?" Gaius asked, keeping to the wall as Arthur, himself, stood guard, sword aloft, pacing like a wolf with its hackles raised as he tried to guard both Gaius and his own unconscious brother several yards away.

"Right here, and I've got the spell," Merlin said, holding up the blue crystal.

"Sigan's that way," Arthur said, gesturing vaguely down one of the streets, sword aloft and eyes shrewdly concentrated in that direction. "Let's go."

They went, leaving Gaius to tend to the crown prince and other fallen knights, and confronted Sigan themselves.

* * *

"Well, well, well," Sigan said, using Cedric's voice, Cedric's mouth, Cedric's body. "A Prince of Camelot, harboring a sorcerer? Tell me, how does this work when you hand in sorcerers for little more than being born?"

Arthur's hand clenched around the sword, standing in front of Merlin, guarding, even though they both knew Merlin would stand a much better chance against him.

"Why work for him, Merlin?" The sorcerer asked, stepping forward carefully, a malicious glint in his eyes. "Why work for the son of the man who kills you? When he will never become king, never have the power to set you free?"

Merlin's hand clenched around the crystal. Sigan was still too close inside Cedric.

"I keep him safe," Arthur growled.

Sigan laughed, focusing on Merlin. "Join me, young sorcerer...leave your prince. Together - we can rule the world. Your prince will kneel at your own feet, rather than you at his. You can be _free_!"

Arthur faltered.

Merlin didn't.

Merlin began chanting the sell, and Cedric-Sigan laughed again, saying, "If you will not join me, then perhaps I should just _take_ your power!"

And with that, a black mist left Credic's body...and went straight into Merlin's.

Merlin collapsed onto the ground, grounding out the last of the spell as he felt Sigan invade his soul - oh, now he knew why this was so powerful - and the last thing he was aware of was Arthur's hand gripping his shoulder, murmuring above him, "You can do it, Merlin, fight him, beat him, come on, you can do it..."

Then he was in a fight for his soul.

Arthur watched as Merlin twitched and writhed in the ground, and as Merlin's pupils grew so wide, his irises vanished as he did his magic. His eyes were completely black as the crystal started to glow.

The twitching stopped as Merlin's eyes became glazed over, before he could see them clear, just as the glow leveled out in the crystal in Merlin's hand.

"Merlin?"

Merlin slowly sat up, a blank look on his face, and for a moment, Arthur fear the worst, already reaching back for his sword to try and fight off Sigan-

Merlin grinned and held up the glowing crystal. "Seriously, Arthur?"

Arthur grinned back at Merlin, now delirious at the thought of their victory. Well, Merlin's victory. "Seriously," he said with a laugh.

He stared at the crystal and the destruction around him, before shaking his head and standing up, helping a slightly-shaky Merlin to his feet.

"Let's go," Arthur said, wrapping an arm around Merlin's shoulders and squeezing, before running off with Merlin in tow.

They came back to their original spot to see Madog and several of the knights roused up, Gaius tending to them. They all looked up as Arthur and Merlin approached, and Gaius stood up.

"Did it work...did you slay the sorcerer?" Gaius asked.

Merlin held up the crystal, while casting a wary glance towards the knights and crown prince of Camelot. "It worked!"

"Told you," Arthur said with a laugh.

There was silence in the courtyards for a moment, before the knights slowly started to cheer for Arthur and the slain sorcerer.

Madog stared silently between Arthur and Merlin.

* * *

Merlin sat back and listened as Gaius fudged and lied his way through the events to Uther, describing some (non magical) ritual to return Sigan and his magic to the crystal now sitting on the council table.

Merlin had tried to shift all the credit to Arthur for subduing the sorcerer, because Arthur never got credit, and maybe Merlin could finally do some good for him.

Except Arthur kept emphasizing that Merlin was the one who'd done various illogical things that logically resulted Sigan's demise.

Uther was smiling at them both, gratitude for Merlin and pride for Arthur, and Gaius shook his head fondly as Uther said, "Rest tonight, both of you. Once the city is healed, we will hold a feast in your honor."

Several people's brows rose - Uther almost never held feasts in _Arthur's_ honor, this was reserved almost entirely for Madog - but Arthur was grinning like an idiot, and Madog's face was absolutely blank as he stared at his little brother.

"I can't believe it!" Arthur cried out in joy once they were back in his chambers. This time, he just held his arms out automatically for Merlin to help undress him. He didn't even glance to his side as his sword set to cleaning himself in front of the fireplace after the door was locked. "A feast - for _me_! And just me!"

Merlin grinned up at Arthur from where he was kneeling beside him, dealing with his belt. "I'm happy for you, sire."

"I think he may even end up reserving some honor for you," Arthur mused as he wandered a bit. "Maybe you'll even eat with us?"

Merlin snorted. "Yeah, right. Like the king will do anything for me. Maybe a toast - this feast is all about _you_. You deserve it. And - sit, for the boots."

Arthur sighed, suddenly deflating as he sat down, and Merlin frowned at that as he attacked laces. "That's just it, Merlin - I _don't_. I didn't do anything!"

"Arthur-"

"I just stood there waving my sword around while you fought in a battle for your soul. It's not...it's not fair!"

Merlin swallowed, setting side the boots carefully, before placing his hands on Arthur's knees, looking up into Arthur's eyes.

"I felt your hand on my shoulder," Merlin said. "When I was fighting Sigan. In my soul. I felt your hand, and I heard you encouraging me. It was...fighting for your soul is hard - especially _in_ your own soul. It was...I think I may have truly lost myself if I didn't have your voice, and your hand, to anchor me. Without you, Sigan might have one - and with my power, Camelot would have fallen."

Arthur shut his eyes and sighed. "It's not fair," he said again.

"Maybe not, but it's not _un_fair, either," Merlin said. "You lose so much credit for your own work, it's time you got some back, no matter how roundabout."

Arthur sighed, reaching out to cup Merlin's cheek for a bit, before he gripped Merlin's shoulder like he did the knights. "My brother and I...whatever my father has against magic...my brother may believe in it...but I think he's more willing to change his mind. I...over time, I might be able to convince him. Enough that one day, you can take all the accolades you truly deserve. I promise you, one day, you can be proud of who you are and what you've done."

Merlin shook his head ruefully, a smile on his face, which brushed against against Arthur's arm. "I already am."

* * *

Uther didn't have Merlin eat as a guest at the feast, focusing most of his attention on Arthur.

In turn, Arthur made a toast to Merlin for his help.

Morgana and Gwen had fond and amused looks on their faces, Uther rolled his eyes, and Madog had quickly become drunk and was helped to his rooms by two guards and an old servant soon into the feast.

Uther didn't notice - he had all eyes on Arthur, and as Arthur basked in the glow of his father's pride, Merlin smiled at the look on Arthur's face.

* * *

Merlin watched as Arthur stomped into his tent sullenly. He was always sullen when the knights started training for any upcoming tournament.

"So," Merlin said. "Anything I should know about that squire with one eyebrow?" He asked, hoping to distract Arthur as he pulled off his armor.

"He lost the other eyebrow when he got too close to a fire and fell over," Arthur clipped. "He's even stupider than you. And on that note, I can see what you're doing, trying to distract me."

"I wasn't exactly trying to hide it," Merlin said, pulling the gauntlet off Arthur's arm. Continuing on, he said, "Would it really hurt to beat your brother just once?"

"It might," Arthur said. "In and of itself, it would be nothing, but in Court, it could start something, which could later become dangerous if nobles start causing trouble."

"So noble," Merlin muttered wryly. "Hasn't anyone _else_ ever beaten your brother?"

"Once or twice," Arthur conceded, sitting down as Merlin fiddled with the chestpiece. "But seeing as they usually weren't rivals for the crown, it was not an issue."

Merlin sighed. "Just once," he said, as the pieces of armor started floating around and being polished. "You should win."

"I would like to, Merlin, believe me, but I'm not going to risk battle and strife in the future to satisfy my own wants, now."

Merlin really hated when Arthur got all noble like that. It almost made him feel bad for making fun of Arthur, some times.

"Isn't there any way?" Merlin asked. "Like...for you to win without causing strife? Maybe if people didn't know it was you? With those helmets and all..."

Arthur fell deep into thought.

* * *

"Father," Arthur said the next night at dinner. "I have heard some rumors of bandits moving in on the northern roads near Northumbria. May I take a few knights out to scout the area myself, see if this is true?"

"You would miss the tournament," Madog said.

"You're winning anyway," Arthur said. "I would do more good scouting out to see if the rumors are true, see if we need to take any action."

Merlin smiled encouragingly at him from where he was pouring wine for his father.

Uther sighed. "Even if you wouldn't have won, having you in the tournament would have been nice."

"I will be sorry to miss it, but my duties are of more weight," Arthur said. "Madog can remain behind to ensure the crown's good standing while I deal with the rumors, myself. If all goes well, it's just rumors."

"Yes, yes, do so," Uther said. "I trust you two can work out the contingent of knights to take?"

"I already have a list of a few who already do not plan to compete in the tournament," Arthur said. "As this is a scouting mission, selection of knights isn't crucial."

"Then I give my farewells, and hope that you're right, and it's nothing," Uther said.

Merlin grinned at him from behind the king as soon as Madog was turned away. Arthur smiled benignly back.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm going to be played by a _peasant_," Arthur grumbled as he watched Gwen coach Bill on how to be Sir William while helping him with the armor.

"Oh, come off it," Merlin murmured, fixing up Arthur's own armor automatically. "He's a good actor and you know it!"

Arthur sighed. "I know, I know, but still..."

Merlin stepped back a short time later and smiled at his handiwork and Arthur sidled up to the tent-flaps and peeked through the gap to focus on William, and yes, he _was_ a good actor.

"You're up, soon," Gwen said to Arthur, holding out his helmet. "Good luck!"

And with that, she turned and left, heading towards the stands to sit beside Morgana.

Arthur stared out at the stands. It was going to be strange, fighting to _win_ for once. He felt he was likely going to have to remind himself that he wasn't to be taking second place, this time. But in the worst case, he _would_ get second place to Madog. In the best, he would get first.

He heard a pointed cough from behind him, and turned to see Merlin untying his neckerchief from about his neck. "Um...I was wondering..."

Arthur frowned. Why was Merlin blushing so much? Why was he holding out, offering, his neck scarf?

"Well, you know," he said. "Some knights...they wear...'favors' from their...from...well, you know...wear them, or take kisses, but..."

Arthur shut his eyes as he heard cheering come from the stands. One more round, then he'd be up.

"Favors come from betrothed or beloved," Arthur said quietly.

Merlin sighed again, clenching his fist around the soft material. "I...I know. And, I know that...you have trouble with this sort of...relationship. I'm not pushing into something you don't want. I was just...trying to wish you good luck? I thought you...I thought you might like it. If not-"

"Merlin," Arthur said, cutting Merlin off. "I...you know what I do. What my status is in this Court, in my father's eye."

"I don't care what else you do, Arthur!" Merlin said. "It doesn't matter to me."

"That's not it," Arthur said. "I just...I can't...I _can't_-"

"It's _okay_," Merlin reassured him. "Really, it is! I'm your friend, first and foremost, friend and loyal servant. Anything else...it's secondary."

Arthur smiled, before looking down at the red 'chief. Swallowing past nervousness that had nothing to do with the fact it was now his round, Arthur held out his arm and said, "Thank you."

The grin on Merlin's face was well worth the gesture as he tied the garment around his armor.

* * *

Arthur won each round with ease.

Merlin watched him from the gap in the tent, smiling every time he saw his prince, saw his red cloth, out on the lists.

"I'm winning!" Arthur cried out excitedly as he came into the tent. "I'm actually winning!"

Merlin grinned. "I never doubted that you would, sire."

* * *

Later on, Merlin watched, tense, waiting for the assassin's next move while fuming at Madog's influence over Arthur's life. King Odin's son has challenged the man when he was ill, and Arthur had fought in his stead as his champion. Odin's son had died, and now Odin wanted Arthur dead. Which made no sense at all, but all one had to do was look at Uther to know grief made no sense at all.

He snapped the assassin's strap during the joust, and watched in bizarre satisfaction as Arthur accidentally killed the man, and was there to help Arthur back into the tent.

"Just my brother after this," Arthur gasped out. Bill and Merlin looked on worriedly.

"Sire," Bill said. "You cannot joust in this condition-"

"I can, and I will!" Arthur growled.

Bill glanced at Merlin, who sighed. "I'll heal the wound as best as I can."

The farmer nodded, and Merlin peeled back parts of the hauberk to get at the wound. He used some wet cloth and a poultice for show, but it was mostly magic that healed it enough for Arthur to continue on.

He watched in worry as Arthur mounted the horse and took the lance.

He chewed his lip in nervousness as the two brothers charged at each other, lances at the read, determination to - almost - kill.

He cheered in delight when Arthur won with flying colors.

And inside the tent, he kissed Arthur's cheek in joy for the victory.

Once Arthur was seated and drinking water, and Bill, Arthur, and Merlin, were all grinning like mad, Merlin blushed. Arthur didn't notice.

"I _won_!" Arthur cried out, delirious with happiness despite the injury.

"You won," Bill said. "Shall you go out and take your glory, then, sire?"

"...no," Arthur said, shaking his head. "I just need to know I won. Tonight, you will feast with my father and brother, celebrated as one of the few men in the kingdom who can defeat my brother."

"But it was you!"

"I know - and that is good enough for me," Arthur said. "Feast tonight, and take the winnings tomorrow as payment. Thank you."

Bill smiled and bowed. "It's been an honor, my lord."

And with that, he became Sir William again, and left the tent to claim his prize.

Merlin smiled down at Arthur, who was leaning back in his chair with a rare look of content on his face.

"Thank you," Arthur said quietly. "For healing me...and helping me win."

"I didn't-" Arthur held up the arm where his neckerchief was tied. "...oh."

Arthur smiled, before his expression became sad, and he reached up to touch the spot on his cheek where Merlin had kissed him.

"Sorry about that," Merlin said sheepishly.

Arthur shook his head. "It's...it's all right. But Merlin - you mustn't fixate your affections on me, understand?"

"I...I know you-"

"No, Merlin," Arthur said, shutting his eyes. Merlin felt helpless to see the joy slip so easily off his prince's face. "I can't...I can't return the affections fully in kind. I don't have enough of me left to..."

"It doesn't matter," Merlin said, reaching up to brush sweaty hair from Arthur's forehead. "I don't mind. I...I love you, Arthur, and your body is not a part of that. It's the prat on the inside I care about, not the arse on the outside."

Arthur smiled, his eyes sad. "You might have to wait forever, Merlin. And I could never give myself to you completely - I have duties."

"I'm not a noble - I know how to share."

Arthur took in a deep, shuddery breath, his eyes fixed on Merlin's lips.

Merlin smiled and gently pressed his to Arthur's. Chaste and soft, Arthur was somewhat unfamiliar with it. But he deepened the kiss, before pulling back nervously.

"Would you believe me," Arthur said. "If I told you that after everything I've done, for my father and for the kingdom...I'm not entirely sure what to do? I...I usually just...do what others tell me to do, I never have to start anything myself...as if I ever would."

Merlin's heart ached for Arthur, but outside, he pressed a gentle kiss to Arthur's pointy nose and said, "It's okay. It doesn't matter. Just do what you want, Arthur - don't make me someone else you have to pleasure...I'm not. I'm not just another thing for you to get through, another ordeal to wait out. I'm just yours."

Arthur smiled, before leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to Merlin, smiling in triumph when he pulled back, even more victory in his eyes than from his joust win.

"I've had a lot of people kiss me," Arthur said. "But...you're the first person I've...that was the first time I've kissed someone, myself."

Merlin grinned.

* * *

After Arthur lied his way through the courts, and 'Sir William' feasted as the hailed knight errant, the two were splayed out across Arthur's bed. Arthur's injuries were bandaged up, and he was relaxing, having been excused from the feast. Some servants had brought up several meals from the feast, and with the door locked and their bellies full of good wine and food, they lay out contentedly, their hands entwined as Merlin made lights and sparks dance against the backdrop of the dark canopy, the fire bright but the candles dim so Merlin's entertaining lights would shine best.

"I can't understand why my father hates magic so much," Arthur said. "I mean...I know it killed my mother...but...so many things could have killed her, and so many things kill people in general..."

Merlin squeezed Arthur's hand. "He's acting on rage and grief, not reason and logic."

"He's the king!" Arthur cried out, distressed, his free hand shooting up in wild gestures. "He shouldn't be acting on rage and grief!"

Merlin brought up Arthur's hand towards him and pressed his lips against Arthur's knuckles, which seemed to calm the prince a little. "But he is. Your brother is far more reasonable than him, and he will be a better king."

Arthur nodded, calmed by the idea. While Madog was often prone to his own temper, he was at least more open to reason than Uther-

_KNOCK KNOCK_

Both men jumped, and the lights above them immediately disappeared, just as they heard Madog's voice shout, "Open this door!"

Merlin leaped off the bed, while Arthur slowly pushed himself up to standing, and he looked up as Merlin unlocked and opened the door.

Madog strode in, still in his formal attire, completely ignoring Merlin as he went to stand by the table, looking Arthur up and down.

"Why aren't you at the feast?" Arthur asked, casual, but confrontation in his tone.

Madog stared at the wound on Arthur's shoulder, before slowly turning a suspicious glare on Arthur.

"Not much reason to stay...Sir William left early."

Merlin internally nodded to himself. Bill will have told everyone that he has ailing family and needs to go back to them immediately. A few quiet whispers among servants from Gwen will have most thinking that his family might be destitute, falling from monetary grace, and that is exactly what they would want to hear about a knight errant besting the crown prince in a joust.

"Really? Shame," Arthur said. "But why are you _here_, then, instead of your own rooms?"

Madog started pacing, predatory, around the table.

"You know...when I was jousting against Sir William, today, I noticed by the way he was holding the lance that his shoulder was injured...and I found it odd that he was perfectly fine at the feast."

Merlin swallowed, eyes wide, as Arthur calmly regarded his brother.

"...what the _hell_ did you think you were doing?" Madog asked, growling from his spot by the fireplace.

Arthur, for his part, didn't even bother pretending.

"I wanted to prove I could win," Arthur said. "I have always had to let you win for the good of the family, of Camelot. We both know I'm better than you...I just wanted a chance to prove it."

"By having everyone think I've been bested by a knight-errant?" Madog shouted, whirling around to slam his fist onto the table, making the cutlery and food on the table jump.

"That...was not my intention," Arthur said. "I simply wanted to win, without necessitating a split in the court."

"And you spared no thought for how this would affect me? My role as the leading knight?"

"You've been beaten before!" Arthur said. "It doesn't matter, it's not like the knighthood will suddenly listen to someone else! They know that we're the best leaders, the best knights in general-"

"But my standing is no longer absolute!"

There was a tense silence.

"Is that all you care about?" Arthur asked quietly. "It's not good enough to have the knights' respect, or the Courts'?"

"No, it isn't," Madog said, turning and glaring at Arthur. "If it is for you, then I'm surprised you ever managed to reach the level of skill that you have!"

"I'm good at being knight because I care more about my performance than what others think of me," Arthur snapped.

"Don't you dare accuse me of-"

"I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm just saying things as they are-"

"_Arthur!_" Merlin cried out when Madog whirled and launched a fist at Arthur, landing a strike on his cheek and sending him sprawling back onto his bed.

Merlin sped forward as Madog climbed on top of Arthur, but Arthur shouted, "Stay back!" at Merlin, and Merlin froze, hesitant, as the two brothers struggled on the bed.

He moved forward again, though, when he saw blood spread across Arthur's bandages, then his shirt, and saw it on Madog's hand, when the wound reopened.

He stepped in between and pulled Arthur away, before putting himself in between the two as a shield.

"Sires," Merlin said almost breathlessly. "You will hurt each other badly if you fight like this!"

"Stay out of this, Merlin," Arthur growled.

"You're bleeding!"

Arthur looked down at his shoulder, and Merlin could see Madog looking down at his bloodied hand in his peripheral vision.

"See?" Merlin said. "So...please, at least don't fight tonight, when you two will do more harm to each other's bodies with little good to your own egos?"

The men glared at each other, but as they had mentioned that very night...Madog was open to reason, and with a huff of fury and disdain towards Arthur, he stormed out and left.

They waited a few moments, then Merlin closed the door, and locked it, and turned back to see Arthur staring at the fire, frustrated anger simmering on his face.

He dismissed Merlin, and went to bed.

* * *

**Reviews are loved!**


	5. Share Thy Burden

**Primogeniture, Ch. 5 - Share Thy Burden  
**

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in updating!**  
**

* * *

A few weeks later, Merlin was able to take the last of the bandages off of Arthur. Just in time, too, for a sorcerer's attack on Morgana.

Except it wasn't.

"It was _me_, Gaius," Merlin heard her say hoarsely as he watched from just outside the physician's chambers.

"There, there, my dear, it must have seemed like it, but-"

"I felt it!"

Merlin knew how magic felt, in a way that Gaius could only ever dream of.

"I have said before and I will say it again, nothing gets done thinking irrationally. I shall make you a remedy for your nightmares, and when you calm down, we can think things through more carefully."

"I can't calm down, Gaius, I have magic that I can't control, and could get me killed!"

Hearing her voice like this reminded Merlin of Arthur's vulnerable moments, after having to conced fights to Madog, or having to seduce a nobleman for Uther's benefit.

Too many powerful people in Camelot were helpless inside.

He opened the door.

Gaius's head snapped up, and Morgana jumped, and Merlin closed the door behind him, before stepping forward and saying, "I heard you."

Morgana's eyes widened in fear, but Merlin, ignoring Gaius's look of warning, kept his eyes locked on hers as he let the magic flood his veins and locked the door behind him without ever touching it.

Morgana and Gaius were both staring in shock, before Morgana whispered in horror, "You're a sorcerer?"

"Merlin!" Gaius said. "Why would you-"

"I know what it's like to have a power you can't control," Merlin said, fighting the urge to glare at Gaius. How could he understand what it's like to be so powerful and so helpless at the same time? He had no understanding of being a sorcerer and the king's ward, he had no understanding of being the prince of a powerful kingdom and yet reduced to a whore on a regular basis, and he had no understanding of what it was like to be so powerful by nature and so unable to help those around you.

"Merlin-"

"I won't let her be as terrified as I was!" Merlin cried out.

"What the hell is going on?" Morgana demanded, looking between Gaius and Merlin, focusing on the latter.

Merlin faltered for a moment, before swallowing, and saying, "You're not alone."

Gaius looked pained, and Morgana seemed frozen in shock.

Merlin sat down slowly. This had been a lot easier with Arthur, which made no sense (except it did).

"Morgana?" he asked quietly.

She shut her eyes, before saying, "I can't...it's not...you..."

She got up and ran.

When she was gone, Gaius sighed and said, "I hope you know what you have done, Merlin."

"Told her the truth? Let her know she wasn't alone?" Merlin asked. Too many people suffered from this in Camelot, in the castle, in the royal family. One was too many, two was too many, and, and-

He wasn't going to stand for it.

"Imagine how terrified she will be now, Merlin."

"I don't have to imagine it, I live it!" Merlin cried out.

For a moment, he and Gaius stared at each other, before Gaius asked quietly, "When did you grow so much without me noticing?"

Merlin blinked, taken aback by the non-sequitur question, but Gaius had already turned away and headed for his bed.

* * *

"She _what_?" Arthur cried out the next morning. "_Morgana_?"

"Yes," Merlin said tiredly as he laid down the platter of breakfast before Arthur. "I...she ran, last night, likely back to her own rooms."

"Why?"

"She's scared," Merlin said quietly, turning away to start fixing up the room. "She's...I'm going talk to her today, try and get her to calm down. The more anxious she gets, the more her magic is going to be out of control."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No!"

Merlin turned to see Arthur looking at him in surprise for the strong outburst. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, feeling tired and deflated.

"She's already going to be scared, and she'll become terrified if I bring _anyone_ with me, let alone the prince of Camelot. It would-"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Arthur suddenly growled.

Merlin gave him a sharp look. "I know you're not your father, Arthur, but most other people _don't_ know that. She'll think I'm bringing you to arrest her!"

"I'm practically her family!"

"So's Uther," Merlin pointed out. "But he'll kill her all the same if he knows she has magic. Madog might, too. She doesn't know! And until she calms down and I can explain things to her, it's not going to matter what the truth is. No one acts rationally in fear."

"I suppose that's true, considering how long it took you to tell me," Arthur said coldly.

Merlin sat on the edge of the bed in weariness. "Please, Arthur, not this - not now. I'll tell her that you know, and she'll probably want to come see you later tonight, anyway."

Arthur nodded with a grunt and turned back silently to his breakfast, hurt. Merlin hated that there was nothing he could do about that.

With a mournful sigh, he got up and went back to his cleaning.

* * *

"So you've been living with magic secretly this whole time?" Morgana asked quietly, when Merlin was finished explaining everything to her.

"Yeah," Merlin said. "Gaius recently figured out your nightmares might be more than they appeared...he tried to protect you from it."

"...you sound like you didn't agree," Morgana said quietly from where she was picking at her lunch at her table, not eating it. Merlin could empathize.

"He doesn't know what it's like to be terrified of a mysterious force inside you that you don't always have control over," Merlin said. "I do. I've _been_ there, and...I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, myself."

Morgana sighed and said, "So...Gaius knows of your magic, then?"

"Only Gaius...and Arthur."

Her head snapped up in shock. "_Arthur_?"

Merlin nodded. "I...he wanted to come with me to talk to you, today, actually. I told him not to, I knew how you'd see it, but..."

Morgana gave him a questioning look, and Merlin smiled wanly. "Something else."

"...what do you mean?"

Merlin sighed. "Arthur's just ticked because I said you'd panic if you saw him because I would've done so in your position. He's...I only recently told him. He's not happy I kept this a secret for so long."

"I'm not happy you did," she said, somewhat stiffly, before focusing back on a piece of bread in her fingers. "But I'm grateful you at least told me, now, when Gaius wouldn't."

Merlin nodded. "Um...what do you plan to do, then?"

She sighed. "Well, wait out Uther's latest rage...and hope not to get caught..." Suddenly, she looked up at Merlin. "Merlin, you have to teach me magic - you _have_ to! I..." She choked. "We don't know anything about my powers!"

"Morgana!" Merlin cried out, alarmed at her panic. She wasn't normally like this... "We'll...we'll find someone who knows, then-"

"_Who?_"

Merlin thought for a moment.

"...the Druids," he said finally. "They know about these things."

"How do you plan on finding them?" she asked dubiously.

"Arthur's going to be involved in the search for them," Merlin said. "Uther's rounding up and questioning anyone even suspected of having consorted with the Druids. We'll...we'll find one that looks promising."

Morgana nodded. "In the mean time...how do we get Uther to calm down from his rage?"

* * *

Gaius sent Merlin a slight glare once Morgana revealed she knew everything, but he still agreed to help them.

"Lightening tends to strike the highest thing around, and out of all the towers, it was a case of random chance that it hit Morgana's chambers," Gaius said. "The energy just before the strike is probably what 'lit' the candle, the most flammable surface there. Morgana's fear from her nightmares simply amplified her reactions to it."

A well timed concerned look in her direction, a well timed contrite countenance from Morgana, and Uther sighed, nodding, while taking Morgana's hand in his own.

Her shaking hands wasn't part of the plan. Merlin had a sneaking suspicious these were real.

"We shall check to be safe, but if it was not an attack of magic..."

"I don't think it was, now that my reaction to my nightmare has abated," she said, keeping her gaze down. "I apologize for the havoc I caused."

"It's all right," Uther said. "You were terrified and suddenly hit but such a powerful force - it's perfectly understandable."

Gaius and Merlin shared a look, and as they walked out, Gaius leaned in and whispered, "I hope you know what you're doing, Merlin."

"I hope so, too," Merlin hissed back.

* * *

_"The witch was best off not knowing of her powers, young warlock."_

"But now that she knows, she'll have no reason to form this 'alliance with darkness' you keep going on about!"

"It matters not. She cannot escape her destiny just as you cannot escape yours."

"...you've gone mad under here, haven't you?"

"No more than when I was first captured."

"Old age?"

"I am a dragon, young warlock. Do you really believe such things of my race?"

"It's the only reason I can think of. You're trying to tell me the second son is destined to be king with no word on what happens to the first, that the little boy that Arthur saved is going to kill him, and that Morgana is going to become an evil witch against her own adopted brother. You make no sense."

"The paths of fate-"

"-need to get a map."

* * *

_Stupid dragon..._ Merlin thought as he went up towards Arthur's room, dinner in hand, sack of just-cleaned armor over his shoulder. He entered Arthur's chambers to see him standing in front of the mantle, staring into the fireplace.

"...Morgana was in here earlier," Arthur said when Merlin closed the door. "She wanted to thank me for not turning her in. Then ran off."

Merlin set down the platter and bag as Arthur turned around and said, "Am I really that terrifying?"

"...no," Merlin said. "Your father is. And you're his son."

Arthur shut his eyes and turned back to lean against the mantle. "I hate it...being 'his son'. I have...there's no..."

Merlin walked slowly up to Arthur, and just as he reached his side, Arthur asked, "Were you as scared of me? Even when you worked for me?"

He knew he should probably lie for Arthur's sake. But he got a feeling Arthur already knew the answer, and to lie to him now...

"Yes," Merlin murmured. "At first...but obviously, I got over that."

"Did you?" Arthur asked, sounding almost hysterical despite his otherwise calm disposition. "You were so wrung out that day...I can't help but wonder if you only told me because you didn't have the energy to lie to me anymore!"

Merlin couldn't help it, he gasped. And Arthur's eyes widened as he realized that was exactly it. He pushed himself upright and whirled around to grab Merlin's forearms, holding him close.

"If I hadn't been so insistent the day Madog was sick, if I hadn't...would I know now, your secret?"

Merlin swallowed. "I don't..." He couldn't do this, not again.

Arthur shook him by the grip he had on his arms. "Merlin!"

"...probably not," Merlin said quietly, keeping his gaze locked on the laces of Arthur's shirt. "I..."

Arthur made a distressed kind of half-moan-half-grunt and abruptly pulled away, turning back to the fireplace. Merlin felt his absence keenly.

"Arthur," Merlin said. "It's...it's not that...these are our _lives_ on stake!"

He just turned further away, walking over to the window, leaning against the alcove of it as Merlin continued.

"I wanted to trust you sooner," Merlin said. "But if I had been wrong...at best, I would've been exiled from Camelot by you. At worst, I would've been killed."

Arthur didn't move.

"How could I have been certain?" Merlin asked. "How could I have been absolutely certain, without asking you outright?

"You could have trusted me!"

"And what if I was wrong? I'm the one who would've died!"

Arthur snapped back around. "You think I don't know that?"

"That's exactly what I think!" Merlin cried out. "You don't get it, Arthur - short of going against your family or becoming a sorcerer yourself, there's almost _nothing_ that will get you executed! But the rest of us? If we look remotely suspicious of anything, even if we're innocent, we're dead! Look at what happened to Gwen's father, and those inn keepers, and-"

Merlin cut himself off. The damage was done, Arthur looked devastated, and Merlin wasn't even entirely sure he wanted to take it back, anyway.

Arthur leaned back against the window again.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said. "I wanted to trust you sooner. But it would've been my life I was betting if I did. I _did_ stake my life on it when I told you...and obviously, I got lucky, and it turned out brilliantly."

There was silence, to the point Merlin went back to tending Arthur's armor by hand to deal with the silence. He did a lot of things by magic, but oddly enough, it resulted in him preferring to do some tasks by hand. Dealing with Arthur's armor was one of them.

"What do you two plan to do?" Arthur asked eventually.

"Find some Druids," Merlin said. "Learn a bit more about her powers." _And my own,_ he didn't add. "We were...hoping, that...you could let us...me...take a look at the list of suspects, find someone who might know where they are."

Arthur nodded gruffly. "On my desk, by the cropped quill."

Merlin checked, and mentally scanned the list, committing it to memory. "Thank you," he said, quietly as he replaced the list.

Arthur still hadn't moved, still hadn't looked at Merlin. Out of desperation, Merlin went up to Arthur and laid a hand on his shoulder. Arthur stiffened, but didn't pull away.

"I was scared," Merlin said. "I was terrified of myself and who I was and who I could be. The only sorcerers that ever come to Camelot are evil ones seeking revenge. I didn't want to become one of them, but I didn't want to die."

Merlin was afraid Arthur wouldn't respond again, but eventually, Arthur brought up a hand and gently draped it over Merlin's hand, pressing his hand down into his shoulder.

Taking that as a sign to lean in, Merlin pressed his chest flush against Arthur's back, pressing his cheek against Arthur's neck, kissing it softly before murmuring, "I'm glad I took that risk, Arthur. It means more to me than you can imagine that you know...that you know, and you kept me."

Arthur turned his head, and Merlin smiled at the expression on his face, pressing his face into Arthur's neck again.

"I'm never letting you go, Merlin," Arthur said. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm not letting that go."

"Good," Merlin said, swallowing back a mysterious lump in his throat. "Then...let's sit down for dinner, and I've got your armor."

Arthur leaned his head into Merlin's just once, before turning, pulling himself away from Merlin, but keeping his hand on Merlin's, pulling Merlin along by his shoulder. "Sounds good...let's see what you forgot this time."

Smiling, Merlin said, "Nothing. I got it all right, this time. I covered everything."

"That remains to be seen."

Merlin sat Arthur down, and started bringing it all out, returning them to their normal evening routine. They would be all right.

* * *

So, of course, they weren't.

* * *

In the dead of night, he and Morgana rode for the forest where Forridel had said the Druids were hidden.

Morgana was more focused on the ball of light Merlin had conjured than on where they were going. Merlin knew it was stupid, but her awe...it was oddly nice. And despite what Arthur said, he had a pretty good sense of direction, anyway, so he knew where they were going.

The problem was that they were being stopped by these giant scorpions intent on eating them.

"Merlin," Morgana said, panicking as she pulled her horse back against Merlin's, making sure to stand within the ring of fire Merlin was conjuring around them to keep the creatures at bay. "Just how are we getting out of this one?"

"Hope they get bored long enough for us to escape?" Merlin said. "Maybe we can cause a distraction of some kind-"

_Morgana?_

They both jumped at the sound of the voice in their heads, and the fires even faltered, but fear and Morgana's scream put them back properly again.

_Mordred?_ Merlin shot back, to both Morgana and outwardly in general, recognizing that voice.

_Emrys?_

A small figure in a green cloak appeared in the distance, and behind it, several other people in larger cloaks. For a moment, they all stood there.

_Um...little help, here?_

That prompted movements from the larger cloaks. They moved forward, shouting spells towards the scorpions, and screeching in fear or pain (Merlin couldn't tell which) the creatures.

Now they were surrounded by an equally hostile and possibly more deadly force.

Then one man stepped forward, a gentle smile on his face as he approached them both.

"Morgana, Emrys," he said, looking between them. "My ward speaks highly of you both."

"Th-Thank you," Morgana said, still shaken from the monster.

"Thanks," Merlin said. "But, um...my name's Merlin."

"The name your mother chose for you is not the name fate has chosen," the man said sagely. "But, if it is the name you prefer - Merlin it shall be. Come - the king's ward and the prince's servant, using magic? We have much to discuss. My name is Aglain."

Merlin and Morgana shared a look, and sticking close together, followed Aglain and the other Druids further into the depths of the mysterious forest.

* * *

Arthur stood behind Madog as Uther paced around Morgana's rooms in worry and rage.

"In my own castle!" he shouted. "They kidnapped her from my own castle!"

Madog turned to Leon. "Is anyone else missing?"

"Just Prince Arthur's servant?"

Madog nodded, before frowning. "What was Merlin doing with Morgana?"

"Does it matter?" Arthur asked. "I think we have bigger problems to worry about!"

"If he was impugning on her honor-"

"Do you really think Morgana would let _anyone_ impugn on her honor?" Arthur asked incredulously. "She could snap Merlin in half with a finger!"

"It doesn't matter, if he did anything-"

"It's something she would have let happen, and if she's the one doing it then there's not much anyone can do to stop her."

"Oh, please-"

"I think we have bigger problems, here," Uther growled at them.

Madog nodded, but Arthur, steeling himself for the round of lies, said, "There might not be."

Both of the other Pendragon men turned to glare at him.

"This is Morgana," Arthur said. "She's always been prone to running off for a little while when distressed. If she's been scared by these attacks or accidents or whatever they are, she hasn't been showing it...until possibly now. I think it is entirely possible this is another one of her escapades, and that when she couldn't find Gwen, she took Merlin instead."

Madog narrowed his eyes at Arthur, and Uther gave him a contemplative look.

"Be that as it may," he said. "That still leaves a chance that she was kidnapped, instead. We must go after the Druids. We have been letting them run free for too long, anyway."

_Told you that wouldn't work,_ Arthur thought mentally towards Merlin and Morgana, though externally, he nodded.

"I'll prepare an advance guard, Father," Madog said.

"I'll ride ahead," Arthur declared. "Get some information, ascertain if she's even there, or where they might be holding her if they are."

"Do it," Uther said, even as Madog opened his mouth to raise his objections.

"Father-"

"Time is of the essence," Uther warned him. "Arthur, go, and go quickly."

Arthur nodded, turning and striding out. He would have to ride quickly to warn Merlin and Morgana...and the Druids.

This was not going to be pleasant.

* * *

Merlin listened carefully as Aglain talked to Morgana. Most of it was reassurances, though much of it was an explanation of how magic wasn't always something learned, but sometimes something one could be born with. Morgana had some magic, but most of her power lay in her ability to See, mostly the future.

"But my dreams don't even make sense, sometimes, and why couldn't I see this, and some of it never happens-"

"Relax," the man said calmly, turning around and taking two mugs from another Druids, handing them one each. "If you see what happens, you can change it - the future is never definite. By the time it is, it's already become the past. What you see are possibilities - the ones most likely to happen, ones that _will_ happen without interference."

He took a sip of his own mug. "This kind of power is unpredictable at best, hence why you don't see everything. And...sometimes, the dreams aren't necessarily literal, but they aren't any less true."

Morgana nodded numbly.

"Thank you," Merlin said, sincerely.

"You should be able to help her," the Druid said easily towards Merlin. "As another channel for magic, you can counteract hers, or work with it, to hone her ability."

"...I can?" Merlin asked. This he hadn't known...but it made sense, in a way, and oh, now that he thought of it, the possibilities-

Their heads snapped up when the thundering of hooves of a single horse was heard from a distance, and within several moments, Arthur was riding into the camp.

The Druids eyes him nervously. He was alone, and he wasn't wearing the crest of Camelot, or even the cloak, but he was still wearing armor, which still meant he was a knight.

"Merlin," he said breathlessly, leaping off his horse practically as it was still moving. "Morgana! We need to go, now - the advance guard is coming."

The Druids erupted in nervous speculation, while Morgana turned to Aglain. "Thank you for all your help."

"Really," Merlin added.

"Go quickly," the man said, gesturing towards their horses. "And, you are welcome."

He paused, before looking at Arthur. "And thank you, Prince Arthur, for keeping them safe."

Dead silence fell over the camp at his name and title, but in the end, threat of an invasion spurred them to pack and move while Merlin, Morgana, and Arthur, started riding back.

They slowed as they neared the edge of the forest.

"I told the lies you suggested," Arthur said. "But he didn't seem to quite believe it."

"I'll tell him I ran after the Druids myself," she said. "That should satisfy his rage against magic enough to calm down while seeming believable."

"And why am I here?" Merlin asked.

"Because you are you and Morgana is Morgana," Arthur answered glibly.

Merlin turned to him. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"She asked you to come, so you said yes. You're like a puppy, it would be believable."

"Hey!"

"...he has a point," Morgana said.

Merlin pouted. The adopted siblings shared an amused look.

Their faces fell as they saw a small advance guard in the distance.

Morgana and Merlin took steeling breaths.

"You ran off," Arthur said. "You had intended to be back by morning, before anyone would have noticed your absence. You got a touch lost, though."

"That let us run into the Druids, of course, and I instilled the fear of god in them," Morgana said, before adding with a smirk. "And I didn't even have my own sword on me."

Arthur rolled his eyes as Merlin laughed. "That will do it. Father will be pleased."

"I think we've been spotted," Merlin said, indicating the slowing of the guard as they headed closer towards each other. At the forefront, Madog was looking right at them, his expression unreadable at this distance.

It was blank by the time they neared him, and it remained that way all the way home.

* * *

Merlin stood in front of Uther, behind Morgana, face red as Uther yelled at them both - though admittedly mostly Morgana - about running off so dangerously and causing such panic and whatnot. Through Uther's diatribe, Merlin's not sure how Morgana manged to not stare blushing at the floor, but somehow, she managed.

"...especially for going after an enemy as dangerous as the Druids!"

"I ran into one, milord," she said placatingly. "And even without my sword, I am fairly certain I managed to instill the fear of god in him. Hopefully, they will think twice before attempting an attack on me from now on."

Uther's breathing evened out while she spoke as he came down from his rage.

"Do you realize how dangerous it was?" Uther demanded.

"I'm well aware of the dangers, sire," she said. "But I also had the opportunity to prevent further danger to my person, and I took it."

Merlin zoned out slightly while Morgana and Uther argued, focusing on the princes standing to either side of Uther.

Madog was still sending speculative glares between Merlin and Morgana. Arthur just rolled his eyes at Merlin when he saw him glancing at Madog.

When Merlin accidentally caught the crown prince's eyes, he gave a hesitant smile. Madog's glare increased.

Merlin swallowed and looked back down at the floor.

In the end, if Uther'd had any plans for yelling at Merlin, he never did so, ending this instead with hugging Morgana close and vowing to keep her safe from the evils of magic and other such things.

Merlin saw her tense, slightly, but otherwise, her feelings on the matter when unnoticed.

* * *

"I'm going to tell Gwen the truth," Morgana said quietly as she, Merlin, and Arthur made their ways through the halls.

Merlin tensed. "Are you sure-"

"_Yes_," she hissed. "We're alone enough as it is."

"...magic nearly got her killed, and it _did_ get her father killed," Merlin said. He paused, and added, "When she was nearly burned for magic, that was _me_."

"Wait until we're in the private," Arthur shot back.

They all ended up stopping by Arthur's room first, and as soon as the door closed, Morgana turned to Merlin and said, "You mean you healed her father?"

Merlin bit his lip and nodded. "I healed him...and then I couldn't save him when he was arrested because of Tauren." Morgana tensed at the mention of the assassin.

He knew he would eventually have to tell Morgana what he knew about that. But not now.

"I'm still telling her," Morgana said. "You have Arthur-"

"-who, incidentally, is right here-" Arthur said.

"-and you cannot be with me all the time," she said. "I...she's my best friend. I can't _not_ tell her. She'll understand...she has to."

Merlin nodded slowly. "Um...good luck, then?"

Morgana smiled wanly, and nodded. "Thank you, Merlin."

She left soon after.

"What is it with you magic types?" Arthur muttered. "Now come on, I want a bath."

Merlin just rolled his eyes.

* * *

Merlin was unsurprised when that night, Gwen came up to him and asked that he come with her to her house.

With a sigh, Merlin nodded.

She was silent the entire way to her home, but once she was inside with the doors closed, she turned to Merlin and said, "Morgana just told me she's magic - and that you are, too."

Merlin bit his lip and nodded, fidgeting nervously by the door.

She seemed uncertain, too, before saying, "Sit down - have you eaten, yet?"

"No," Merlin said, and she set about bustling around, making a simple dinner of some vegetables and bread.

He picked at the food, and looking up, so did she, before she huffed in exasperation and said, "Are you going to say anything?"

"I figured I'd wait for you to ask me stuff," Merlin said.

"Fine...you...you healed my father? During the plague?"

Merlin nodded.

"Thank you."

His head snapped up, surprised. "But...you were..."

She smiled at him, sadly. "I know that was not your intent. And I love my father. I thank you for healing him - I had been so worried and..."

"...and I couldn't save him, anyway," Merlin said. "I tried."

"Morgana mentioned that, and what she had done," Gwen said, before shutting her eyes. "It's all so complicated..."

"I've noticed," Merlin said with a hesitant smile. She smiled back in her usual fond way, and Merlin knew they would be all right.

* * *

"How did it go?" Arthur asked later.

"Just...she mostly wanted to know about her father, then Morgana," Merlin said, making some wine dance around the room while he and Arthur lazed a bit on the prince's bed.

"That sounds good," Arthur said.

"She accepted it," Merlin said glibly. "She...she thanked me for healing her father."

Arthur smiled at Merlin, gripping his hand tightly again.

"Told you."

Merlin smiled and nodded, gripping back.

"What happened, this morning?" Merlin asked quietly, the wine coming above them in slow whirls, now. "Madog was glaring at more than Morgana."

Arthur's grip tightened, slightly. "He thinks you're having an affair with Morgana."

Merlin blinked, before smiling in amusement. "I think that might be one of the strangest ideas I've ever heard."

"Not really," Arthur said, quietly. "You spend a lot of time around her. You brought her those flowers. And when she ran off after the Druids, you went with her easily."

Merlin frowned at Arthur's tone, before his eyes widened and he pushed himself up, facing Arthur.

"_You_ don't believe it, do you?"

Arthur sighed, shutting his eyes and pulling a pillow over them. "Of course I don't! I just..."

Merlin laid back down on his side and used both hands to pull Arthur's to his chest. "What, Arthur?"

"...I wouldn't blame you if you did," Arthur murmured, pushing the pillow off to look at Merlin, and his heart broke at what he saw in the windows of Arthur's soul. "I can't...for all you hold me up as a paragon of virtue, there is little I can give you _physically_. I want to, so much, but-"

"Arthur," Merlin said. "It's all right, really. I don't expect anything. I..." How could he describe it to Arthur? How much he wanted to be Arthur's escape, someone _safe_ Arthur could go to? "Like I said - I'm your friend first and foremost-"

"I don't _want_ you to be my friend first and foremost, I want-"

Arthur choked off the end of whatever he was about to say, whimpering slightly, unable to finish his thoughts. He shut his eyes, and Merlin stroked the back of Arthur's hand patiently as Arthur took several deep breaths before beginning again.

"I _want_ us to be more than friends, Merlin," Arthur said, quietly. His eyes were still closed. "I want us to be everything. But I have nothing to give, but I want to, so much-"

And like always, Merlin felt the burst of anger in his chest for what Uther has done to his son, however unintentional. It was _wrong_ for Arthur to be so afraid of love. Merlin could forgive the man his anger and grief and could even find it in himself to at least understand his drive to destroy the force that killed his wife, however misguided he may be. But to make Arthur so afraid and vulnerable like this was something Merlin knew he would _always_ hate the king for.

Merlin slowly brought a hand up to Arthur's head, pressing his fingers against Arthur's cheek to turn his head around and face Merlin. At Merlin's touch, Arthur's opened his eyes to look into Merlin's.

"It's okay," Merlin repeated, his breath flitting over Arthur's lips as he spoke. "I...if you want, I can help you through this. But Arthur - friendship is not something below romance. I love you, in whatever form it may come, however you may accept it."

Arthur's face remained blank, and at a loss for anything else to do, Merlin leaned forward and pressing his lips to Arthur's.

Arthur kissed back. When Merlin pulled away and saw Arthur's eyes, he could see the answer within them.

_Yes._

* * *

**Please review** - let me know what you think, and don't hold back! (And while some of you have this **very weird habit of apologizing for long reviews, _don't!_ I absolutely _love_ long reviews, so if you feel like writing one, don't hold back!** Good or bad or anything else, I would love to hear it.


	6. Small Step

**Primogeniture, Ch. 6 - Small Steps  
**

* * *

**A/N:** I basically went on hiatus and lived under a rock for the last few weeks, from AP's to prom to finals, to my 18th birthday two weeks ago (yay, now everything I've been doing for over the last half-decade is actually _legal_...except for some of the intoxicating measures, but no one cares about those), to my graduation last week (holy shit I'm a college student now! o.O). I doubt many of you are all that interested so I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say **I was busy, busy, _busy_ with RL**! But, now that's all over with! And now I have summer to look forward to! Which isn't much because I'll probably end up working, anyway, but still. It's the thought the counts. :P

**Anyway, I'm going to slowly ease back into posting and updating fics at my regular rate, so this will hopefully get my started.  
**

* * *

Arthur woke up slowly to the odd feel of a warm, heavy weight on his chest, before he looked down and spied Merlin's mop of messy, black hair.

He smiled, now remembering - Merlin had been sleeping here for almost a week now. He laid his head back for a moment to enjoy the feeling of Merlin against him, oddly quiet, peaceful save for his occasional somnial fidgeting.

Eventually, though, he had to get up, and did so, waking up Merlin in the process.

"Huh?" he slurred out sleepily.

"It's morning," Arthur said. "Breakfast."

Still half-asleep, Merlin nodded, getting up and getting dressed, before pattering off to grab breakfast.

Arthur got dressed, somewhat, and was shifting through the reports of the grain tax bounty when Merlin came back, platter in hand.

"What's this I'm hearing about Morgana going off?" Merlin asked curiously as he set down the platter of food.

"Every year, she goes on a pilgrimage to her father's grave," Arthur said absently.

"...but she already went," Merlin said.

"Yes, but this is a specific anniversary for her," Arthur said. "We, on the other hand, have a hunt to attend to with the Baron Jonathon."

Merlin sighed. "Of course we do."

Arthur smiled at Merlin's pout, and went back to his reports while Merlin started gathering the gear. Breakfast could wait.

* * *

Arthur had been riding on the satisfaction of a fairly good hunt when a messenger boy found them in the forest.

He and his party were back at the castle instantly, where Uther immediately sent them off again, this time with Madog and a few more knights.

They slowed when they reached the scene of devastation on the road.

His throat tightened at the sight of several good knights, good _friends_, dead on the road. But, they were knights - and well prepared for this. Right now, he had bigger problems.

He and Madog led the search, but it was Merlin who cried out, "Over here!" waving the ransom note.

It's while they were looking at it that they heard the underbrush moving off in the distance.

All of them were immediately on guard, fully expecting one of the bandits to come through.

So they were all rather understandably surprised when instead, Morgana, in her petticoats and a sword in hand, appeared instead.

The entire contingent of knights soldiers all sighed in relief upon seeing her...except Merlin and Arthur.

"Gwen?" he asked hoarsely as she neared.

She looked about ready to cry as she shook her head.

He and Merlin shared a look. Just one look.

* * *

"I would've thought Morgana would want to come with us," Merlin said as they rode out of Camelot that very night.

"She does," Arthur said. "But Father will be furious with us both if she goes right back into Hengist's clutches. This way, I'm just being 'reckless' rather than 'too attached' or 'rash', and likely just acting on Morgana's request, as far as he's concerned."

"...right," Merlin said. "Is he going to send anyone after us when he finds out we're gone?"

"He might," Arthur said. "I don't know. Maybe Madog and a few guards. Or some knights. But at this point, I think he won't risk _too_much on me."

Merlin remembered Uther walking out to fight the Black Knight and promptly disagreed.

* * *

_"Lancelot! What are you doing here?"_

"Saving Guinevere, you?"

"The same."

Merlin fought the urge to roll his eyes, instead shepherding the other three into the tunnel after the wildren was released. He only planned on closing it off to let them escape, but when Hengist climbed into the cage...

Both Lancelot and Arthur shouted in worry and warning, "Merlin!" when he did magic, before looking at each other in surprise.

"He can explain later!" Gwen cried out, before Merlin was pushing all of them forward as Hengist was eaten alive.

Merlin blasted right through the grate, then welded it right back on before they ran.

It was only when they were nearly half a mile from the fortress did they stop completely, catching their breath while leaning desperately against the nearest solid surface.

"So...Merlin..." Arthur said, he and Lancelot the quickest to catch their breaths. "Care to explain...?"

"Griffin," Merlin said simply.

"I saw him enchanting my lance when I charged the griffin," Lancelot added in, before looking to Merlin. "So you finally told him?"

Merlin nodded.

"I'm glad," Lancelot said, nodding.

"Are we moving any further?" Gwen asked, ever practical, pushing herself up.

"A few more miles, at least, before we stop and rest for the night," Arthur said.

And so they moved. They found the horses and went another five or six miles before Arthur and Lance decided they would be safe. Merlin had a fire and camp going in moments, and he and Arthur sat together comfortably while Gwen and Lance talked in hushed tones.

For a while, it was sweet. By nightfall, it was tense.

By morning, Lancelot was leaving.

"I cannot go to Camelot," Lancelot said, when Merlin ran to catch up with him. "I know I am not welcome, yet. With what you and Gwen described of all the trouble happening, lately..." He shook his head. "Princes Madog and Arthur have enough to widen the chasm between them. I will not be another issue to be dumped in the middle to split apart the lieges of Camelot."

Merlin shook his head ruefully. "You're even worse of a noble prat than Arthur, you know."

"...thank you?" Lancelot asked in sad humor.

Merlin took a deep breath, looking back to see Gwen and Arthur both looking somewhat mournfully in their direction.

"You may not necessarily be welcome in the knighthood just yet, but Camelot will embrace you," Merlin said, quietly, turning back to Lancelot. "Don't be a stranger? You are Arthur's first knight and Gwen's first true love. They're going to miss you."

"And you?" Lancelot asked.

"Well, I would've thought as my friend, missing you would be obvious..." Merlin said, trying desperately to lighten this up. This was all too much happening at once.

Lancelot smiled, a little less sad, this time. "I...I will try. Not to be a stranger. Until then - goodbye."

Merlin smiled. "You too."

And then he was gone, and he, and Gwen, and Arthur were headed back to Camelot.

* * *

Morgana and Gwen hugged fiercely upon reunion. Madog rolled his eyes and Uther stormed at Arthur once again running off like this, and Merlin prepared Arthur a hot bath and good night in as a thank you for saving Gwen.

"She's our friend, this needs no thanks," Arthur said, before slipping into the bath with a relieved sigh. Merlin smiled fondly and went about fixing up the room.

"You can use the bath after me," Arthur said. "I don't mind."

Merlin laughed. "Sure...but you should know, I already used it when you're not here, anyway." Perks of being the magical servant to the prince.

Arthur rolled his eyes before his shoulders rose out of the tub as he turned to look at Merlin.

"How come Lancelot knew before I did? About your magic?" Arthur asked.

"Because he found me out by accident, but you, I told," Merlin said simply, understanding Arthur's insecurities by now.

Arthur, apparently comforted by that, turned back around and settled into the tub. Merlin fought the urge to grin and pet his hair like a cat, and went back to organizing the room.

* * *

The Lady Catrina seemed nice enough. Drop dead tired, but nice. She understandably went through hard times after her house was raided, and having made her way across the kingdom with no belongings and a single seal and servant, he could see why she would be a little out of sorts.

But then came the fun part.

"I think father might intend to court her," Arthur said, somewhat puzzled, right after dinner with the family and Catrina. The three siblings had made their excuses to leave early - well, Morgana had, then Arthur, and Madog had to grudgingly follow - and now they were all in Morgana's room.

"I can't believe he would do that!" Madog shouted, pacing around in circles.

Madog's servant, Gregory, appeared in the doorway with the warmed leftovers, and Merlin and Gwen set out Morgana's table for three, before taking smaller plates of food for themselves and retreating to sitting on the edge of Morgana's bed, eating quietly and watching the royal trio, spectators to the fantastic royal family's argument.

"I'm glad," Morgana said, somewhat haughtily. "Uther needs someone."

"I just find the whole thing sudden," Arthur said.

"He's _lonely_," Morgana said, making Arthur looked speculatively at his dinner.

"He's betraying Mother's memory!" Madog shouted. That seemed to hit Arthur, too.

"He is not!" Morgana said, exasperated. "Moving on from Ygraine does not mean forgetting her! It just means he is learning to be human again. This could be a good thing-"

"_How_? How can this _possibly_be a good thing?" Madog shouted. "Camelot has done just fine without a queen so far, I don't see why she needs one now!"

"Camelot has done fine without a queen, but how fine has Father been without a wife?" Arthur offered.

And so the three went.

"I wonder what would happen," Gwen mused quietly to the two boys on either side of her. "What would happen if we were to give them all sticks and lock them in an empty room, together."

He and Gregory snorted at the thought. It really was amusing to see them arguing over Uther's lovelife.

* * *

Merlin really shouldn't have been surprised when that Lady turned out to be an imposter.

Or that Uther married her. And named heir to the throne.

* * *

The part he really _hadn't_been expecting was that she was a troll.

...and she'd seemed so nice, too.

* * *

Merlin burst into the wedding only to see it finish, the music and celebrations too loud for anyone to notice his entrance, or that he was a mess from the night under the castle.

Arthur was blank, stiff as a board, still thinking it was just an enchantment of a sorceress, not knowing it was a troll. Morgana, whom Merlin had already told, looked almost nauseous as Uther kissed Catrina in matrimony. Madog was trembling with fury, eyes locked on the old crown of Ygraine's on Catrina's head.

This entire thing was a mess.

* * *

Merlin was pondering what to do about this whole thing while making Arthur's bed when Arthur ran in, Madog a step behind him.

"What's going-"

"You have to leave Camelot, now," Arthur said, tugging the bedclothes out of Merlin's hands.

"_Queen Catrina_has accused you of stealing her family seal," Madog sneered. All their heads snapped up at the distant sound of footsteps, and Madog briskly said, "Get him out of here, I'll head them off."

He ran out.

"...I thought he hated me," Merlin said, as he and Arthur slipped into the antechamber.

"He doesn't hate you, he just doesn't like you - and either way, he hates Catrina more," Arthur said simply, before pushing Merlin out the servant's entrance and to safety.

* * *

The next few days were a blur of shock. Catrina being named heir to the throne wasn't really all that surprising to Arthur - she was queen, now, no matter how much Madog raged about it.

Father's treatment of the people, though, with Catrina at his side, it was...it was...

"Reprehensible," Madog spat, pacing. Arthur took it as a sign that they could actually agree on this.

He wasn't all that disappointed when he and Madog were disinherited from the crown. He was never going to be king, anyway. Madog, on the other hand...

"...I am _his_heir!" Madog said, horrified, sitting on a bench. "Why would he...he can't...he can't take this away! Catrina will destroy the people if she becomes the sole ruler!"

He was furious and confused and Arthur could, for once, empathize with his brother, understand the feeling of abandonment from their father. (Now Madog knew what it was like.)

Then Merlin and Morgana told him the queen was a troll enchanting his father to bend to her will. ("A..._troll_? That seems a little...oh, you mean an _actual_troll?") They had told Arthur, who in turn told Madog, who went back to Gaius to confirm it.

"It all makes sense now!" Madog cried out. This time, he, Arthur, and Morgana were in Gaius's chambers, while Merlin and Gaius were flipping through the books.

"Have you any idea how to fix this, to end the enchantment?" Arthur asked. "Once we break father free, he will annul the marriage and have the troll executed, and everything will go back to normal."

"Troll magic is powerful magic," Gaius said. "At this point, external influence will not be the force to break Uther free. It will have to be his own emotional drive overpowering the spell."

"Tears of remorse," Merlin said. From what Arthur had heard before Magog had stormed in, he'd gotten that cure from the bloody _dragon_.

"You're joking, right?" Madog said, incredulous.

Gaius and Merlin shook their heads.

"We have something that might work," Gaius said, addressing all four of them. "A potion that will make the drinker look dead. If we give it to Prince Madog, convincing Uther that his actions have led his son to suicide...the potion itself is dangerous, but so long as the antidote is administered quickly enough when Uther is free of the enchantment, it should have no lasting damage."

"That would work," Arthur said.

"...no," Madog said.

"Madog-"

"It should be Arthur."

Arthur stared at his brother in shock. "Why me? You-"

"I am Father's prince," Madog said. "But you...you are his son. His emotions concerning you..."

"Are _what_?" Arthur demanded.

"I am his pride," Madog said, and before Arthur could add _you don't have to remind me_, he said, "But you are the one he loves."

Arthur stared at him like he was crazy. Because he _was_crazy. Father didn't-

"...he's right," Morgana said, looking at Arthur imploringly. "Uther may not always treat you right, but he ultimately holds more personal affection for you, if not pride."

Arthur shook his head - they had it all wrong. "Father will feel the loss far more acutely if it's Madog-"

"He had far more pride in me than you," Madog said bluntly. "But far more love in you than me. And if he is to cry tears of remorse...it has to be you."

"He has a point, sire," Gaius said. "These tears of remorse won't come from losing a valuable heir, but a beloved son."

Even _Merlin_, who almost hated the king at times for how he treated Arthur, was agreeing.

This was...he would be risking the entire kingdom to be doing thing. All of them were risking the entire kingdom with this plot.

They all knew what Arthur did some nights, with some nobles - they all saw how Uther spoke to Arthur, how the king looked at him...what were they seeing, to believe so strongly that Father loved Arthur the most, to stake all of Camelot on it?

Arthur sighed. Either way, it appeared it was up to him.

"Fine - I'll do it."

* * *

Merlin stood nervously outside the door, watching Uther hold Arthur in his arms, cradling him in a way Merlin had only seen after the Questing Beast.

"Is it broken, yet?"

Merlin nearly jumped when he heard the crown prince's hissing by his ear, but shook his head, instead. "Almost. Jonas...?"

"Dealt with," Madog said. "And Morgana has Catrina stalled..."

"What, sire?" Merlin asked, nervously. Did something go wrong?

Madog shook his head. "Her troll form. Even with the magic, I can't understand how the king could still remain attracted to that when she was at least trying for proper! I just saw her in _manure_."

"Magic and love are powerful things, sire," Merlin said, turning back to focus on Uther. "When the two are mixed together..."

"If I never needed a solid reason to believe the king was doing the right thing in keeping magic out of Camelot, that was it!"

Merlin nodded absently. Uther was murmuring to Arthur.

_"I am so sorry, my son,"_ Merlin heard. _"Please, I never meant for this to happen...I never...you cannot leave me, Arthur...please, wake up...please...I _love_ you, Arthur, I know I do not say it but I do, please, wake up...just wake up..."_

Merlin could feel tension radiating from Madog behind him.

"...he loves you too, sire," Merlin murmured quietly.

Madog snapped to face him, narrowing his eyes. "Don't be so presuming, Merlin."

"I'm not presuming," Merlin said firmly, defiantly.

(However abusive and wretched a king and father Uther is, he _does_love his sons, somewhere, buried deep in his heart...no matter how much Merlin didn't want to admit it, it was true.)

"There!" Madog hissed, and Merlin turned to face the king. Uther was crying, quietly begging Arthur to wake up.

With that, Merlin burst with, and when Uther looked up, Merlin knelt down by Arthur's prone form, antidote in hand, just as Catrina burst in.

...no matter how horrifying this entire debacle was, the hilarious look on Uther's face at the sight of his wife would forever be absolutely _priceless_in memory.

Madog ran forward when Uther was frozen in disgusted shock as the troll charged, sensing her impending doom now that the spell was broken.

"...wh...what..." Arthur blinked awake, before jumping and scrambling back at the sight of his brother and the troll in his room.

He grabbed a sword off the table where Merlin had left it, and within moments of the troll fighting the two brothers, Uther joined in the fray.

Just a moment later, the troll was dead.

* * *

"God, I can't believe I ever even _touched_that thing! The things I did-"

"-if you don't mind, Father, we'd rather not know. It was disconcerting enough waking up to see a troll in my bedroom."

"And I was there when she was changing shape! Let us just forget her. Agreed?"

"Agreed!"

"Agreed."

"...how many nights did you spend sharing a bed with a troll?"

"_Arthur!_"

* * *

As the Pendragon men left dinner and Uther and Arthur headed off in separate directions, Merlin found himself in the distinctly unnerving position of Madog looking at him shrewdly in the corridor.

Madog saw Merlin noticing him, and visibly composed himself back into the Crown Prince Merlin knew, rather than the destitute eldest son he'd been for the last week or so.

"Thank you," he said, stiffly. "I am well aware that without your help...Arthur and I would still have a troll for a step-mother."

Merlin nodded. "Right, well..."

Madog was still staring at him.

"...sire?" Merlin ventured. "Is there anything you want from me?"

The prince shook his head slowly. "No, I...I just find you odd, Merlin."

"...everyone finds me odd, sire," Merlin said, opting to smile. Smiling worked. "Odd, but charming. I'm just an odd, charming person."

"And yet..." Madog said, stepping closer almost menacingly. Merlin tried to keep the smile up, and mostly succeeded. "I always feel as if there is something...shifty, about you...like you've got _something_ to _hide_..."

Merlin, for a brief moment, had to fight down the urge to just turn on his heel and run in the other direction, away from a certain execution that would come of Madog not only discovering that he did have something to hide, but just what it was.

Instead, he pushed his smile back up completely and said, "I'm an open book!"

"I don't believe that for a second," Madog said, shaking his head and turning away. "But thank you, nonetheless...now, go, look after Arthur or whatever it is you do."

And then he walked off.

For a moment, Merlin's face fell as he pondered the odd exchange, before quickly shaking his own head as he walked in the other direction.

The Pendragon family really _was_ insane!

* * *

Things were great for a while after the troll incident.

Uther, apparently still shaken from the sight of Arthur dead, didn't lend him out to any nobles for ages, even though it cost him chests of gold and small tracts of land at one point. Arthur felt guilty, but Merlin felt elated.

It didn't last, and when a tiny, heirless earldom was up for grabs, Arthur went.

Sometimes, Merlin really wanted to let his magic loose on Uther.

Watching Arthur walk away, to a night of pain and humiliation, right now was one of those times.

Merlin had a hot bath ready and waiting in Arthur's room the day after, the softest linens laid out on the bed, and a small feast of lunch and a large pitcher of wine - and an additional wineskin waiting - just in case.

When the door opened and Arthur strode in, he was still in the persona of the Prince, but as soon as the door was closed, he sagged, leaning into Merlin's embrace for a moment, before turning and letting Merlin tug off his clothing.

He felt an irrational surge of jealousy at the sight of another man's come on Arthur's hip. It was stupid, and the last thing Arthur needed, but Merlin couldn't help the urge to go and rip the come's owner limb from limb. He could do that. It wasn't exactly a difficult spell to do that and so much more-

But Arthur needed him here, and all of Merlin's violent urges were swept away by focusing on Arthur, here, vulnerable, and waiting for Merlin to help him into the bath.

"Thank you," Arthur said quietly.

"No need," Merlin said, bringing the platter and a chair over to sit by the tub, the platter levitating of its own accord as Merlin leaned back so he was by Arthur. A fork floated up, and Arthur pushed himself up in the tub to take it and eat. And Merlin, knowing how Arthur found the absolute, over coddling servitude he'd sometimes gotten from other servants before he came along rather annoying, grabbed another fork and helped himself to some, as well, putting Arthur at ease by having little fork battles with Merlin over particular strips of meat or hunks of bread.

After a while, Arthur paused.

"Merlin...would you...would you like to..." he paused. "Use the bath?"

"Don't I always?" Merlin asked, before plopping another grape in his mouth.

"I mean...with me," Arthur said, keeping his eyes focused on the meat speared on his fork. "Not any..._just_a bath..but I've heard that...it's cramped but...sometimes, company..."

"Are...a-are you sure?" Merlin asked, stunned. Arthur had so much to face before intimacy came easy for him, and this, this-

"Yes," Arthur said. "I would like to think of these waters as washing every memory of that bastard off my body, and I would prefer to replace it with you...however platonic it would need to be."

Merlin nodded, pushing himself up, and shedding all his clothes instantly with the flick of his finger.

"Home come you never do that with me?" Arthur asked, a little of the banter seeping back into his voice.

"It's still a little hard with others," Merlin said, leaning against the edge of the tub. "Besides...I like undressing you with my own two hands."

Arthur smiled, and pushed himself back into the tub, slightly, and Merlin carefully clambered into the tub. It took some careful maneuvering on both their parts, but eventually, the two boys were laying side by side in the tub. The platter of food was levitating before them, and Merlin levitated a grape off the platter and into Arthur's mouth, who took it and leaned his head back, eyes shutting contentedly as he relaxed into Merlin's care.

Magicking over the washcloth, Merlin proceeded to gently scrub every horrible memory of the night off of Arthur, before rubbing his own hands over him - just rubbing, nothing more. Just replacing the memory of the other man's hands with his own. Merlin wasn't going to deny his own wants, but he wasn't going to take them out on an unwilling Arthur. And from the fact Arthur's cock remained soft the whole time, however much he may be enjoying the treatment, it wasn't like that, at all.

Merlin tried not to feel two guilty at his own hard cock as he rubbed Arthur down in the bath, but he felt like it was violating Arthur's trust...Arthur trusted him, and here Merlin was...

...he ignored, keeping his hips away from Arthur. He'd deal with it another time.

When they were out of the tub, dry, dressed, and in bed, Merlin pulled Arthur close to him, kissed him firmly, and said, "Is there anything of that damnable bastard left?"

Arthur smiled. "No. Just you."

Merlin kissed him again, before spelling out all the candles, and pulling the covers over them for sleep.

* * *

"So, any plans for Beltane?" Merlin asked conversationally as he and Morgana headed back towards Camelot from where they'd been practicing magic out in the forest.

"I'm supposed to attend the feast, but many nobles can leave early, then go down to the city festivals. Much more fun."

Merlin laughed. "I'm trying to convince Arthur to do that, right now! I'm planning to play around with some of the fires a bit."

At Morgana's incredulous stare, he hastily added, "Nothing magic! I just know how to make flames burn in different colors. Science and everything. No smokeshifting or anything like that."

"Smoke shifting?" She asked, as they came to a loggers' clearing.

Merlin nodded, rounding the fires in the middle of the clearing. "Like...turning smoke into shapes and stuff."

"Can you show me?" She asked.

Merlin looked around and didn't see anyone around immediately, and they were fairly far off from Camelot, anyway.

He concentrated on the smoke coming out of the one of the fires, and a moment later, Morgana was quietly chuckling beside him as he turned the smoke into-

"A pony, Merlin?" She asked.

"...I've been doing it since I was little," Merlin said, with a playful pout, as he let the smoke pony dissipate.

Morgana laughed. "You-"

Their heads snapped up as they heard the sound of someone running through the trees, and a moment later, a frantic woman came into the clearing.

"Did you see that?" she asked, hysterical. "The smoke, it came alive! Did you see it?"

He and Morgana shared the briefest of looks, but before they could say no and try to convince the woman she'd only imagined it, she was already gone.

This did not bode well.

* * *

_"Send for the witchfinder!"_

Merlin and Morgana were studiously not looking at each other to hide their panic, and Arthur was tense as the guards sent out for the witchfinder to be found.

Once Court was dismissed, Arthur turned to his father and said, "Father - I am of the opinion that this is a false alarm."

"She said the smoke _came alive_, in case you haven't noticed," Madog bit out.

"I did," Arthur said. "But - she was also a touch hysterical. And it was a breezy day - I am merely suggesting that perhaps some smoke and wind collided, and her hysterics caused her to jump to some conclusions."

Uther nodded. "I understand. However, the possibility that this might be a real threat cannot be ignored, and should be investigated. We have had too much magic about as of late, anyway. I hope that you are right, and this is merely a false panic. But we cannot take the chance."

Arthur nodded stiffly, and after a few more formal words, left the hall.

* * *

In Gaius's chambers, Morgana was nervously sipping at some drink Gaius had given her, Gaius himself was pacing, and Merlin was doing something behind one of the bookshelves on the balcony, murmuring spells to himself as he worked.

"I couldn't talk him out of it," Arthur said.

"I didn't think you would," Gaius said. "Merlin is hiding the magic book."

"And the Sidhe staff?" Arthur asked.

"Unless someone actively uses magic with it," Morgana said. "It looks like a normal walking stick, remember?"

"I'll just say I won it in some tavern bet or something if I'm asked," Merlin called out.

Arthur nodded. "I couldn't talk him out of the witchfinder completely, but I have at least managed to put seeds of doubt of that woman's word and credibility in his mind. I believe if we can just make sure the witchfinder can get nothing for long enough, Father will dismiss him in the belief that I had been right."

"Good," Gaius said, before turning to Morgana, and Merlin as he came down the step-ladder. "In the mean time, you two must cease magic _completely_, starting from now and not ending until the witchfinder has left Camelot, understand?"

Neither of them seemed to look forward to it, but they both nodded.

"And next time," Arthur said. "Try to remember to not be stupid enough to do magic in public. Really, is it that hard to restrain yourself?"

"Is it that hard to restrain yourself from working with your sword every single chance you get?" Morgana bit harshly, clutching her drink tight between white knuckles. "Magic is _who we are_, Arthur! We can't just turn it on and off on a whim...we _need_ to use it! I'd rather give up _breathing_than give up magic!"

"It does get unbearable to go too long without," Merlin agreed, taking a drink from Gaius as well. Arthur'd seen Gaius prepare it very secretively, and wondered if the sorcerers' calm was through sheer mental strength or if it had a little bit of potions' help to boost it up.

"Then keep it behind locked doors," Arthur said. "Let's just hope this passes quickly."

* * *

Unsurprisingly, it didn't.

* * *

_"You are aware that magic was performed in the vicinity of Camelot?"_

"Yes. Apparently."

"Oh, no, there's no denying it, a horse conjured from smoke!"

"Um, right..."

"Are you aware the woman named you and the Lady Morgana as witnesses?"

"But...we didn't see anything, though!"

"Yes, and I wonder how that could be...what were you even doing out in the middle of the forest with the king's ward?"

"I was collecting herbs, and she was talking a walk. When we ran into each other, we decided to finish our jaunts in the forest together, that's all."

"Hm...I must ask, are you sure you two didn't see anything?"

"Just...just smoke...no horses or anything."

"And yet...tell me - how is it possible for you to have seen one thing...and the witness to have seen another?"

"I...I dunno. But...I'm just telling you what we saw. That's all."

"Hm...unless it was you who performed the magic...or perhaps the Lady?"

"No!"

"Can you prove it?"

"...no."

"..."

"..."

"That will be all."

* * *

Later, Merlin and Gwen were sitting at the table in his room, quietly folding their masters' laundry while Arthur paced about the room, when Morgana came in from her own questioning.

"Well?" Arthur asked. "How did it go?"

She sighed. "I...well, I think. I smudged the right parts of the story and reiterated other parts-"

"What do you mean smudged up?" Merlin asked.

Morgana gave Arthur an apologetic look, before looking back at Merlin. "I may have left him with the impression you and I are having an affair."

"_What?_" Merlin shouted. "Why would you-"

"This is a good thing, Merlin!" Arthur snapped. It was obvious he didn't like the idea, but he didn't resent either of them for the situation. "Better he think you two were off in the forest dallying in romance than off to practice magic together."

"...what if he tells the king?"

"Then he will lecture me on proper behavior for Ladies and threaten you with castration should anything untoward happen to me, and then he will leave us to our own devices," Morgana said. "That is always been his way."

Merlin breathed out a slow sigh. Right. This would work. They would just...keep low. He would have to act along with Morgana's new 'affair' story if he ran into the witchfinder again, and that would be that.

Except...

When Gwen and Morgana departed, and Arthur stood staring into the flames, Merlin came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Arthur. "I'm sorry," Merlin said. "But _we_know it's a ruse, and that's all that matters."

Arthur sighed and nodded, turning to lean his forehead against Merlin's.

"I'm okay," Arthur said. "I know this is just to save your and Morgana's lives."

Merlin smiled.

"Though really, Merlin, making a pony out of smoke in the middle of the loggers' forest...!"

And then Merlin laughed.

"This is...everything will be fine, Arthur," Merlin said. "Everything will be fine."

* * *

It wasn't.

* * *

"You're a liar!" Merlin shouted, storming forward-

-and Arthur was dragging him back.

"Let me deal with this," Arthur shouted back over his shoulder, before dragging Merlin into the hallway, then several corridors, all the while with Arthur ignoring his demands to _let him the fuck go_!

"Merlin," Arthur said lowly. "You will not get anything done by attacking Aredian except getting yourself landed in a cell, yourself, where you'll be useless to help him!"

"I..." Merlin's chest heaved and something tightened inside of it, and Arthur was holding him close when the tears finally fell. "I can't let Gaius die...especially not because of me..."

"Shh..." Arthur murmured, and Merlin felt a soft kiss on his forehead. "It's okay...we'll figure something out..."

Merlin nodded, into Arthur's shoulder, before suddenly, he pulled away as he heard footsteps coming down the corridor.

"Come on," Arthur said, pulling Merlin with him towards the dungeons. "Let's sort this out, shall we?"

* * *

_"So the witness accounts were just hallucinations?"_

"Yes - and someone planted the amulet, because it's not mine, not Morgana's, and not Gaius's. Probably Aredian."

"...damnit."

"I hate him. I want him dead."

"But killing him won't do any good, Merlin, you know that."

"I know...I have a better idea."

* * *

That night, Merlin crept out of Aredian's room successfully, returning to Gaius's wrecked chambers in a rush, getting there at the same time as Morgana.

"Well?" Arthur asked inside. He was pacing around, while Gwen was trying to clean up out of nervousness.

"I've planted the belladonna and amulets," Merlin said.

"Just a few, correct?" Arthur said. "You didn't go over the top?"

"A cauldron's worth of the belladonna drops in multiple vials, a dozen amulets," Merlin said, before turning to Morgana. "How are things on your end?"

"Amulet in my room, and I 'bought' some belladonna drops which are now sitting on Arthur's table," Morgana said to him. "And we put an amulet in yours, as well."

"Now we wait," Arthur said.

"There's no way we can act now?" Gwen asked.

Arthur shook his head. "Everyone _just_went to bed. Our best bet is to wait until morning. I take the drops and ask Madog why he left a hallucination causing dye in my room. Morgana shows up, says it's eye drops she was recommended by the three witnesses, then asks why Madog left the evidence of Gaius's sorcery in her room."

And while Madog was even more of an ass than Arthur, he at least cared about honesty and justice, and would take all this to Uther.

"So let's go to bed, and take care of this in the morning," Arthur said.

They all shared a look.

"...let's _pretend_to go to bed," he amended.

They all agreed, and left.

* * *

"...the witchfinder gave me the drops."

"Did he say what they were for?" Uther asked.

"No...only that if I did not sell them, he would have me burned at the stake."

Uther turned to Aredian. "And how do you answer these accusations?"

"They're absurd!" he cried out. "All lies, I assure you."

"Then you won't mind if we search your rooms," Arthur said coldly.

"Arthur," Uther said warningly, as Madog looked at him in sharp confusion. "You are immensely stretching your authority on this!"

"Father," Madog said, turning back to face the king. "I concur with him. A quick search should reveal the truth...if Arthur is wrong, then we will find nothing, and everything proceeds. If we find something, he's right."

"I assure you, you will find nothing," Aredian said.

* * *

"Sorcerer!" Uther shouted when Aredian puked up a toad, belladonna bottles and false amulets littering the floor around him.

Aredian acted quickly, wrapping his arms around Morgana, and knife to her throat.

Merlin panicked, trying to think of something to do, as Madog, Arthur, and Uther surrounded Aredian, trying to find a way to get Morgana without hurting her, when Morgana shut her eyes.

A moment later, the knife grew hot, glowing hot, and Aredian was screaming, backing away from Morgana.

"Witch!" he cried out in agony.

Merlin stared, eyes wide, at Uther, because what it-

"You're _really_ going to try that?" Morgana asked incredulously, confidently, smirking ever-so-slightly, indicating the evidence around him. "_Now_?"

He screamed and launched himself towards her, only to have Madog step in the way and pull him back. Aredian stepped on the still-hot knife and stumbled back. He made one more desperate launch towards Morgana, who strongly pushed him back, causing him to stumble over his chest of belongings...

...and out the window.

There was a moment of silence after the crunchy thud of his body hitting the floor, before Morgana huffed and turned to Uther.

"You have to get Gaius out of the dungeons!" she pleaded, and out of relief, Uther couldn't agree more.

* * *

_"Don't you think the toad was a little over the top?"_

"It worked, didn't it?"

"...have I told you how much of an idiot you are?"

"About half a dozen times today."

"Only? Well I'll say it again: you're an idiot."

"If you say so."

"...though it was funny."

"Ha!"

* * *

"_Sunscín_," Merlin murmured at the parchment. It wavered and simmered, and became vaguely reflective, but otherwise remained normal parchment. He gave it to Morgana.

"_Béo sunscín_," she tried. The paper turned completely reflective, the front looking like an actual mirror - except that it still bent and wavered like parchment.

He and Morgana laughed as she started playing with some lights on its surface, create illusions of what it reflected, and together they simply reveled in their magic, denied of it as they had been for so long.

"Congratulations," Arthur said dryly to Merlin. "You've successfully given her a way to be even more vain than she already was."

"It seems like a nice spell," Gwen said congenially, from where she and Arthur were standing at the table, polishing blades together and doing some minor repairs.

Arthur rolled his eyes and turned back to the blade in Gwen's hands, the two bonding in their fussing over blades.

Merlin petulantly turned back to the mirror, and Morgana raised an amused eyebrow at his expression.

He did the mature thing and stuck his tongue out at her before taking the mirror and saying, "_Ongéanfére thesylfum._" And then he was holding just regular parchment again.

"I'm just willing to try out anything," Morgana said, relaxing as she sat back a little on the bear skin rug where she and Merlin were seated by the floor. "It was so terrifying to do magic with Aredian here!"

Merlin shrugged. "Not much more than usual, really..."

She sighed. "But still, it's one thing to have Uther on his constant warpath and Madog acting as his constant lapdop, but an actual witchhunter?"

Merlin shook his head. "It's not like it's much better now, anyway...I don't know about you, but fear doesn't go away for me so easily."

"I know," she said. "Just..."

"...I grew up with the fear," Merlin said, fairly nonchalant. "It's all the same to me, really."

Morgana nodded. "I'm..." She paused. "Well...I was always a little...nervous, that so many things I'd dreamed would come to pass...but I was never quite _afraid_...especially since I started actually _practicing_magic."

"...well, I was doing magic since I was an infant," Merlin said. "I'm not actually sure how my mother managed. But she made sure I always knew how to hide my magic."

"Even in Cendred's kingdom?"

Merlin nodded. "We were on the border - at one point, we were in Camelot, though that was a long time ago. And even if Cendred didn't hate magic, he didn't trust it. For a young boy to turn up who can do magic so easily, well...it was dangerous. Always. So..."

She nodded. "I think I will have to get used to the fear."

"That's the spirit," Merlin said dryly. "So...mirror-paper?"

She laughed. "How you put up with this so easily is beyond me Merlin, truly."

"You shouldn't have to."

Both sorcerers jumped at the deep voice, and turned to see Arthur staring at his blade with a look of distress on his voice.

"You shouldn't have to," Arthur repeated. "Live in constant fear just for being who you are."

"And what about you?" Merlin challenged, turning in his seat to face Arthur. "You're in constant danger as prince of Camelot! How is it any better? We all have the sword of Damocles "

"I'm not in constant danger from my king!" Arthur cried out.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Danger is danger regardless of where it comes from, Arthur."

Arthur's jaw hardened in stubborn determination.

"You know," Gwen said. "I sometimes find it odd...you three are all so powerful, and yet you are so restrained. I have nothing, and yet...I think I'm the freest of us all."

Arthur sighed, defeated, and Merlin and Morgana shared a dry smile.

"No magic, no rank, and no power," Merlin said. "And you have our envy."

Life could be odd like that.

With a grim silence descending over the room, they all returned to their work in muted tones.

Such was Camelot - built on secrets and lies, a kingdom where power got you more pain and death than anything else.

* * *

_Sunscín_ - "Mirror" (noun, singular nominative)  
_Béo sunscín_ - "Be a mirror"  
_Ongéanfére thesylfum_ - "Return to yourself"

* * *

**Please review** - let me know what you think, and don't hold back! (And while some of you have this **very weird habit of apologizing for long reviews, _don't!_ I absolutely _love_ long reviews, so if you feel like writing one, don't hold back!** Good or bad or anything else, I would love to hear it.


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